Monthly Archives: May 2019

Perfectly Imperfect. That’s me.

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I have a scar right in the middle of my scalp on top of my head. I have had it since I was a baby. My mom said I had cradle cap and I scratched it so much it scarred and no hair ever grew there. I made up stories about it when I was little because I got made fun of a lot at school. Now I don’t mind it, I actually like it. I also tell the truth about it now because “falling down the stairs and getting my hair ripped out by a piece of bubble gum” is a little far fetched…
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I have a chicken pox mark/scar right in the middle of my forehead from when my sister and I got in a fight because I gave her my chicken pox so she scratched my face.
I have a huge scar on my right knee from when I was learning how to ride a bike and I skid across my friends gravel driveway.
I have a few Acne scars on my face from picking because I don’t know when to stop. I still don’t sometimes.
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I always thought my fingers were fat so I never wore any rings except for my engagement and wedding ring. I am proud of those. Now I think I have normal size fingers but I still don’t wear any additional rings.
I have a mark on my neck. It’s a dark spot on my skin. It appeared when I was pregnant with my daughter and it never went away.  My old boss once asked me if I had a hickey, I wondered if that’s what everyone else thinks.  I don’t mind it.
I’m pretty sure one nostril is bigger than the other. I am also pretty sure I am the only person who knows this.
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I hated my legs. I think they are huge and until I had kids, I never wore shorts unless I was away on vacation. Now I wear shorts when it’s hot out and I don’t mind my legs to much except after the winter when they are so pale I am pretty sure the sun just reflects off them.
I have laugh lines and forehead lines, bags under my eyes and crows feet when I smile. That’s okay with me. You can always tell exactly what I am thinking by looking at my face. Sometimes that gets me in trouble, sometimes it’s hysterical, but all the time I am happy about that.
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I don’t know why it crossed my mind today that some of the things I used to be so embarrassed by about myself, I actually don’t mind them now. Maybe it’s me getting older, Maybe it’s because I gave birth to 2 babies and after that, I mean a lot of people saw a lot of me, so maybe the little things just don’t matter as much. Or maybe I am more grateful for my pretty healthy body as I get older and want to take better care of it so I appreciate it a lot more.  It just crossed my mind this morning when I looked in the mirror and I thought, “Not to bad. You’re alright!”
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What about you? Is there anything that you use to be so embarrassed about and as you get older, you like it?

June Goals

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It’s the end of May tomorrow. I can not believe it. May went really, really fast. My blog did alright. I did not accomplish as much as I did in April, but that’s okay. I took a little break this month and I really needed it.
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I did my first blog review for a product that I received. I had to promote for a week, that was my part of the deal.  I looked forward to it because it sort of gave me a week off from having to think of new things to  write about and I thought I could use the time to get ahead on a few blogs… I didn’t. I took the time off, except for promoting the product review on pintrest and twitter. I caught up on a few blogs that I read. I wanted to spend a lot more time reading other blogs and supporting. I did when I could but I always wish I had more time. It’s really hard to work full time, have two kids and a husband and blog full time too. So I think I will switch my Goals for June.
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June Goals: I would like to at least stay the same in views and traffic. We are traveling for a week this month and I plan on taking that week completely off from everything and spending time with my family. I know my views and traffic will drop off but I will be back. I plan on supporting my fellow bloggers by reading, liking and commenting on their posts. As for my posts, I would like to post at least 10 new ones. I am working on writing a YA fiction book on the side too so that’s taking up some of my time as well. For that book I plan on querying at least 3 agents. I will promote the book I have published with at least one post. I have sold 5 of those to date. I hope to sell a couple more next month.
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I think that’s pretty much it for me for June. What about you? What are your goals for June?

Personal Update

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Hey everyone! I just thought I would check in on where I am at personally right now. The beginning of the year was a little rough for me but I finally got in to see a Psychiatrist in April (after a 4 month wait!) and we started a medication for depression. We also added a high dose of Vitamin D because I was deficient, and fish oil. I have been on it for a month and I honestly feel so much better.
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I don’t know if this makes sense or not but I feel good different. Like I have more energy, getting out of bed in the morning isn’t as hard as it use to be. I have no idea if this is related at all but a few days ago a song came on the radio. This was one of my favorite songs when I was in my early twenties and for some reason I couldn’t listen to it anymore because it always made me think about all the stupid shit I did at that time. Not the good times, the shit times. I would turn it down because I would feel embarrassed by 20 year old me. Anyway, the other day one of those songs came on and I turned it up and sang it and just enjoyed the song like I did back then. I am not sure if this has anything to do with anything. It was just the first time in a long time I was able to just brush the things I can not change aside and not dwell on something stupid I did or said or how I acted 17 years ago. I mean that was almost half my life ago and I have come a long way since then. You know? Plus, there were way more good times than bad times so I thought of those.
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I have also started to work out in the morning again… Just this past week, and I like it. We have machines in our family room, a rower and an elliptical. My husband and I go down in the morning and rotate who’s on which one each day and do 15 minutes. I downloaded an app on my phone for a 7 minute workout and I started doing that at 7 PM cause that’s when I am usually done with feeding the kids and whatever other chores I have after work. So far I am enjoying that too because it’s really only 7 minutes. You do 12 different exercise moves for 30 seconds each and rest for 10 seconds in between. It goes so fast it’s like, that’s it? But you know what? It’s something and I’ll keep doing it. I am going to try to start walking a mile during the day at work too but that’s not always possible. I would like to lose 30 pounds by September, that’s my goal. I am at 186 this morning, which is what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter 8 years ago… So wish me luck and I will keep that posted on here too.
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Since we started the working out this week I have also started to monitor my food and portions again using another app called Lose it. I know everything I need to do to lose weight and I am motivated again to do it. I use the free version of both apps. Also, my cholesterol is high and I don’t want to start medication so I actually need to lose weight now. It’s my fault though. I knew that I was getting a little excessive a little to often with stuff so I guess this was my body checking me back into reality. That is where I am at right now. I’ll do a monthly post on my progress (hopefully) as what’s working and what’s not.
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This past weekend I had a town party to go to Saturday. Sunday was book club and we had a BBQ at one of the girls houses. Monday was memorial day and my other friend had a BBQ at her house. Summer activities are starting. I did eat whatever I wanted at these and tried to stay as healthy as possible. So it’s back to watching my intake now. I am trying the intermittent fasting. I usually have breakfast and lunch and try to make good choices and then don’t eat at night. I think that’s where I am getting into trouble with eating dinner and then snacking and going to bed. So we’ll see how this works.
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There is 2 1/2 weeks of school left and then it’s my son’s 10th birthday! We planned a vacation to California for a week. I can not wait. It’s supposed to be a surprise but  I think he knows that we are going away but I don’t think he knows we are going to stay at Lego land for 2 days and then stay in San Diego for 5 days and go to Universal, the zoo and then just explore. I am just super excited. I can’t wait to surprise him.
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Update on the the Teacher bully: My son was finally moved to a new classroom last week after his teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom and he peed his pants in class. A 9 year old boy. I am still furious about this situation. If they had just changed his class back in JANUARY, when I asked, his 2nd half of school year would have been completely different. I wrote a blog about if teachers can be bullies, and guess what? They can. The change in his attitude in the morning is amazing. He actually wants to go to school now and he is back to enjoying math and doing that unprompted, on his own. The entire teacher bully and dealing with the school makes me feel terrible. I wish I didn’t let them try to work it out and keep him in that environment for so long. I am furious with the entire situation and if this ever happens again, I now know to push for a class change. I need to calm down before I go back and talk to them so I don’t say things I will regret. I plan on having this meeting before the end of this school year so we can discuss next year because I am not going through this shit again with them.
That’s pretty much where I am at right now. What are your plans and goals for the summer?

CBD REVIEW

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****Disclaimer**** This product was given to me for free to test out and provide my honest review. I would never promote products that I do not believe in 100%. You can count on my honest opinions on all products listed in any of my pieces. Thank you.

CTFO 1500 10x Pure Full Spectrum CBD Oil Drops.

10xPure Full Spectrum CBD Oil Drops – 1500mg

I have been taking CBD, in oil or capsule form, for a while. Eventually, I ran out and just haven’t bought any. When I saw a free trial and all I had to do was provide a review after, I jumped on it! I picked the highest dose possible since we are familiar with CBD and I anxiously waited for it.

My husband and I had just started lifting again for a week and we were sore! When it came, we were super excited to try this new company out.

Packaging: I liked the packaging, especially since it comes with a list of where the batch was tested.  It made me feel more confident taking this product. There was also a brochure with all the CTFO Products.

Dosage: 10-20 drops 2 times a day. I chose to take one dose in the morning once a day. I am getting older and I wake up sometimes with some aches and pains. I figured that this would help kind of take the morning edge off and prepare me for my day.

My husband started with 20 drops, sometimes twice a day. He’s bigger and taller than me, so we figured he’d need more. He also suffers from aches and pains when he wakes up in the morning and was rear-ended on the highway years ago.Pain Relief Product Package - $20 Savings!

First Taste: It was… interesting. It’s not something that I would want to taste all the time. It’s like a light minty oil. You’re supposed to put the drops under your tongue and let them adsorb for a little bit. I like oil on bread but not under my tongue by itself. It wasn’t bad or anything, but my husband and I agreed it was a new sensation.MemoryWorks® <br> Leadership Pack <br> Preferred <br> 16 Box Order

How we felt: Initially I think I just wanted to feel so much better, so I believed that I did. I was calmer when dealing with my kids, my back pain didn’t seem to bother me as much, I generally felt better overall. I continued to use this product for 3 weeks. I took a dose in the morning to help with my morning stiffness. I feel like it does help. I sometimes take a dose around dinner if I am having a long, rough day. I sit at a computer all day and I tend to hunch over by the end of the day, so my upper back and neck sometimes bother me, especially if it’s been a stressful day at work. On these days I will take another dose in the evening and stretch my back a little bit. It seems to help take the edge off.

My husband felt alright, but maybe he just had too much going on at the same time. It didn’t hurt anything, but it didn’t help as much as he wanted. He also didn’t stay on the oil as long as I did because he got sick (completely unrelated).Beauty Product Package - $25 Savings!

Would I recommend this product? If you like oils, then yes. I think I prefer the capsules to the oil. I just don’t seem to be a fan of the oil taste and the way it makes my mouth feel. If you are looking for a CBD oil to try, I’d recommend this. It’s a really high-quality product, and you can tell a lot of care was put into it.

I will try the capsules next time and maybe something from their skin care line.

If you would like to purchase please use this link:

https://myctfo.me/fibromom/

Mozart the Amazing Hiccup Puller – Son’s bedtime story

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Once upon a time there was a boy. The boy had large round glasses and light brown curly hair, all the way down to his shoulders. The boy’s name was Mozart and he was a magician! There was a talent show at school and Mozart was set to perform his very first show.
Mozart was so excited and he practiced his tricks over and over and over again. Finally, it was the day of the show and he got ready to get on stage. He checked to make sure everything was perfect. His cape was pressed, his hat was tall and his magic wand was shined. Mozart stepped on Stage and everyone cheered.
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“Hello Everybody!!! ” Mozart screamed. “My name is Mozart and today I am putting on a magic show!” The crowed cheered. “My first act is Juggling… whoops!” Mozart started to juggle and lost track of the balls and they all landed on the floor. The crowed laughed. Mozart decided it was best to keep going. “My second act will be to make Harold the bear disappear!” Mozart said. The crowed cheered.
“First we put Harold in the box, and then we wave the wand and say the magic words… SHALAKAFLIMLAMDOO! And now we see that Harold has disappeared!”
Mozart open the box and smiled to the crowed who just laughed and laughed at him. Mozart didn’t need to look over to know that Harold was still sitting in the box. Mozart started to turn bright red with embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if he should keep going or not because nothing was working out right and every one was laughing at him.
Then he heard a hiccup. First it was tiny, but hen he heard another one, and another one, and another one! The hiccups got louder and louder. Mozart had an idea.
“For my final trick” Mozart Said, “I will make your hiccups disappear! Who is hiccuping? Can you please come up here?”
After some shuffling in the audience a little girl named Mary appeared on Stage. Mary was in 3rd grade and had long pigtails in her hair and freckles on her nose and cheeks. Mary was nervous to be on stage but Mozart promised her he would make her hiccups disappear.
“Mary, please take a deep, deep breath and hold it. Then when I say okay open your mouth and exhale till I say stop.” Mary took the deepest breath ever and held it as she watch Mozart.
Mozart waved his wand once, twice and then nodded at her to open her mouth. Mozart pinched the air in front of Mary’s mouth and told her to exhale. As she exhaled Mozart pulled and pulled and pulled and finally, when Mary felt like she had no more breath to exhale, “Stop!” Mozart Screamed.
Mozart took her hiccups and threw them in his hat. Then Mozart placed the hat back on top of his head and everyone sat in silence waiting and watching.
After 30 seconds Mary said “They’re all gone!” And crowd cheered and clapped as Mozart and Mary took a bow!
And that is how Mozart became the Amazing Magic Hiccup Puller.
The end.

Detective Pikachu Movie- Family Review with A LOT of the Spoilers

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If you want to see this movie DO NOT Read this right now, come back after. This is our conversations after we saw the movie on what we thought. Image result for detective pikachu free images
Me: I liked it. I didn’t get that the dad was actually Pikachu. When he came back to life, I was confused.  I was wrapped up in understanding that they took his mind and I missed the whole repairing the body. Even though they do explain it, I didn’t hear that. I did eventually get it. It was interesting though. And good. It kept me interested and I love Pikachu. The Pokémon were cute. I liked how they explained the different attacks for certain Pokemon. I do not play a lot of Pokémon and I never did. I see the cards because my son was into them but I don’t know the games well.  I do know some of the characters so that was fun to see them. Mew 2 was awesome. Related image
Husband: How did Pikachu get back to the town so fast? I liked it. It was a good movie. It was fun. I played the games. I like how they gave you 20+ years of history without taking forever. If you’re a fan, there is stuff for you. If you are not a fan, there is stuff for you too. It was well written. The ditto was nightmare material.
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Son: I loved it. My favorite part was the plot twist at the end. My question is how did Tim get down the stairs so fast? Overall I liked it. I would see it in theaters and at home cause there is there are snacks. My favorite Pokémon was the Tortoise, I liked when they popped up. I expected a big battle, But I liked the plot twist. Why did Pikachu almost die from a rock, that was a little much. Where’s the hypo spray, Tim? This is what happens when you go to battle with one Pokémon. Charzard was super wrinkly
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Daughter: fell asleep 3/4 of the way through! I liked it till i fell asleep. The Pikachu is cute. I wish I had a pet like that.
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Sister: I liked it. I liked the twist at the end that Pikachu was his father and that’s how they could communicate. I didn’t see that coming although looking back, I see that now.
Niece: it was good. I liked it.
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Over all we would recommend seeing the movie in the movie theaters and we will definitely be watching it again at home.
What are your thoughts?

Isabel’s bedtime story

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Last week my daughter asked me to come up with a story for her when I was putting her to bed. I have no idea what was on my mind, but this came out…
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Once upon a time there was a teddy bear family. The daughters name was Alyssa and she had a sibling and two parents.
Alyssa loved to shop. She wanted all new clothes to go back to school but her mom said that she didn’t have a lot of money. One day Alyssa was on her moms iPad and she put a bunch of stuff in the shopping cart. She hit pay just to see what would happen and suddenly the screen changed and said thank you for your order. Alyssa had no idea that her mom had a credit card attached to the account.
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Over the next week bags and bags kept arriving at the door and Alyssa would sneak them in to her room. When school started she decided to just wear one new outfit. But the kids loved it so much that she decided to wear one more. And the next day one more. Her mother asked her where she got all these new clothes from and Alyssa said she borrowed them from friends.  Before Alyssa even knew it she had opened and worn all the new clothes she bought.
Two weeks later Alyssa came home and her mother told her that she just got the credit card bill and Alyssa was in more trouble then ever before.
Alyssa had to get a job to pay her mom back for all her clothes and she was grounded for two months!
Don’t steal, don’t lie and always use coupons. Good night.
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I really had no intention of the story ending up this way! I mean the characters are teddy bears.  She seemed to like the story though.

Weekend Plans

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Hi Everyone! This week has gone really slow for me. Between work dragging and just feeling so drained and tired, it feels like time slowed down this week. I went to bed Monday and Tuesday by 8:00 pm. Wednesday and Thursday I managed to make it to almost 9:00. Needless to say, I am really happy that it’s Friday. Tonight I do the big grocery shopping after work. I hit Trader Joes, Costco, Shop Rite and then the wine store on the way home.
I am looking forward to this weekend.
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My nieces birthday is Monday so I will be taking her shopping Saturday. She’s going to be 14! Sunday is mothers day and we are going to a friends house for a BBQ. That’s it. I’m not big into celebrating mothers day so we usually don’t do much. We pretty much celebrate the same for Fathers Day too.
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What are you up to this weekend? Anyone have any special plans for Mothers Day?

High School Sweetheart? – Guest Post

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Guest Post by:

Instagram: @conqueringall

Twitter: @brezzyisbaeeeee

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High School Sweetheart?

Roses are red violets are blue, I think we were meant to be high school sweethearts but now you’re gone and I miss you.

Dear  Ja’Darius;

It’s been 2years since I’ve learned of your passing and honestly it effects me more today then it did when I first found out and I don’t know why. Maybe because I always thought that even if we lost contact god would bring us back together someday, you know like in those shity romance movies?? I’m so sorry I didn’t come to your funeral I didn’t know, no one had the decency to tell me smh. I found out through a girl we went to school with, she was telling me how a teacher had added her on Facebook, you know the one that literally laughed and sung about everything??….yeah her. Apparently you and her were friends until you passed away. At the time I wasn’t hurt or sad just shocked because yeah the school we attended at the time was combined with a hospital but you nor I were a sick patient we were sent there to recover from surgery and the last time I seen you. You were walking to school looking as healthy as the day you got discharged from the hospital. I have an idea well more like an assumption of what happened to you but refuse to ask what really happened. Some things are better left unknown. Sometimes I get mad at myself for not asking you out or wonder why didn’t you asked me but then other times I’m happy because I know we would’ve been together until your dying days and loosing you would be sooo much harder.

I guess what makes it so hard is not knowing if we were truly meant to be….

High School Sweethearts??

Instagram: @conqueringall

Twitter: @brezzyisbaeeeee

Standing on the edge

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That’s what I have been feeling like lately. Like I am teetering on the edge of where I want to be. I am excited and terrified. I want so badly to realize this dream and yet, I am terrified.
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I’m having a hard time at work lately. They gave a promotion to this girl I work with to manager. Which I totally support because she really truly deserves it. My problem is that when I was proving to them that I didn’t need a supervisor and did the work for a year, they said that I couldn’t have a manager or supervisor title if I wasn’t a manager or supervisor of someone. Even though that was what I spent a year proving, that they didn’t need to hire a supervisor for me. So I pointed it out to my boss. I said, “I thought that in order to be a supervisor or manager you had to supervise or manage someone.” And then that fucker turned around and asked HR. HR’s response was my job functions are different than this other girls and I don’t qualify for that title. Then my boss called me into his office to talk about it. I pointed out that everything I did was what the supervisor position that they posted had listed for the job functions. He said that there is no one to supervise so I don’t do everything.
He went on to say that he can give me a manager title but I have to do more work and there is no money attached to it. When I brought up the work that I have been doing that was not listed in my job description, he said “okay, what else can you do?” To me that’s a huge slap in the face. I just feel really unappreciated in my job. But it pays alright and it’s close to the kids and the time off is good. I am just done trying to do anything else. I am  going to do my job and go home and work on my books.
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I will focus on books and writing and keep pushing though. Life is too short to stop. I have already stopped a few times with this dream and this time feels different.
This week has felt funny too. I mean I usually have so much to say about whatever. If you read my blog, you will see that’s true. This week has felt off. I was honestly considering taking a week off.
Yesterday I posted an excerpt from my book Moving Forward, (which I highly recommend you check out) and someone bought it! I am so happy. Maybe that’s why I am feeling so positive today.
Please consider buying an e book or the paperback. If you get the paperback now before I resize it, you could have a collectors item in your hands, I hope.
Paperback:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1096851474 For $8.99
I promise to stop pushing this book so much. It’s just new and I feel like there are some really great stories in it. It’s worth the purchase and read.
I also signed up for Ko-Fi. https://ko-fi.com/sambel08
If you would like to help support me. I plan on upgrading this site to a business plan and then hopefully monetizing a little more.
I am still working a full time job and I will continue to until I can replace my income on the side. We need at least what I make now. I also have a husband, 2 kids and now 3 dogs. I am trying to just get a good schedule down. I’ll get there.
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But this feeling. Like something great is about to happen. I just feel really hopeful right now. It feels positive and I will keep moving forward.