Our Trip to Boston. Reviews!

We went to Boston Last weekend. We stayed at  Homewood Suites Boston Logan Airport Chelsea . I chose this hotel because we were bringing my Mom, sister and niece with us so we needed 2 cars and 2 rooms. There is a pool and the breakfast and parking is free. Originally, I wanted to stay more in Boston and I look for Hilton because we are in the Hilton Honors program. I looked at hotels in Boston and the rates weren’t so bad, but the parking added almost $100.00 per night and then we would have to find breakfast because it’s not included.  So we went with the Homewood Suites. We stayed for 2 nights and my total bill was a little over $900.00. I got us both the 2 queen studio suites. The rooms were really nice. The pool was really small. With my husband, me, our 2 kids and my sister and niece in the pool, it was tight. The pools capacity is 11 people. It was warm though and my kids loved it and got to swim and jump and they had a blast. That’s what matters to me.
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The rooms were really cool.  I thought they were well thought out. I loved the little kitchen area because I was able to make dinner Friday and Saturday night and save us a little money for the other fun things that we were doing. I also brought lots of snacks that I loaded in the full size fridge because a 7,9 and 13 year old can eat all day and still be hungry.
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I bought a 2 day pass of the Boston Go cards. You get access into a lot of places. It was $430.00 through the plumb benefits site through my job. My niece is considered an adult because she is over 12, weird, right?
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We got there on a Friday afternoon around 1:00. Luckily there were rooms available so we were able to check in and bring our things in. Then we all hopped in my pilot and drove into town. It was about a 7-10 minute drive. I have driven in New York and Boston highways are something else! We were up, down, underneath, driving in a circle to get on other highways…. Make sure you have your GPS. After the first day though, we got the hang of it and it wasn’t bad at all. Our first stop was Quincy Market. It’s pretty cool. We parked around the corner at a garage. Monday through Friday the garage is $42.00 and Saturday and Sunday the garage is $20.00.  The first day we walked around and went to Union Oyster House for lunch. Lunch was great.
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I highly recommend this place. The kids liked their food and my mom loved her clams and fish and chips.  Afterwards we walked around and watched some of the street performers. We headed over to the Aquarium and walked though. We all enjoyed the Aquarium. Then we walked back to Quincy Market and got some Ice cream at Sprinkles and headed back to the car. At that point it was a long day already with all the driving so we took the kids to the pool for an hour and my mom went back to her room to rest. I made the kids Spaghetti and we played Uno and then crashed. The beds were very comfortable.
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Saturday, we met for breakfast in the lobby… It was regular coffee, breads, eggs, sausage, yogurt, waffles, fruit and juice. So everyone found something. Then I took the kids for a quick swim and we got ready to head out for  a day of exploring. Again we drove in to where Quincy market is and parked where we parked the day before. We hopped the trolley ( on the Boston go pass) and took it around Boston. It’s really cool to see everything. The architecture. Everything is so old and squished together but pretty. It was just cool to see to me. The trolley driver will tell you the history of certain buildings and it’s interesting. We hopped off at the 9th stop which is the last one before they bring you back to the beginning and we walked over to the children’s museum (included in the pass) . The kids loved that. We didn’t spend a ton of time here, but they did get to do a few things.
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We stopped at Hopsters Brewing Company for lunch. Everyone enjoyed their meals. Then we headed over to the museum of contemporary Art. This is where I found out that my mom does not care for Contemporary art. Not even a little bit. The rest of us did enjoy it and they had a little kids area set up so the kids could make their own art. That was pretty cool. After the Art museum we walked back to the trolley and went to the USS Constitution.
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To get on the ship is free and we ran out of time to go into the museum that would have been included on the Boston go pass. We would have been able to go but then we would have missed the last trolley and I had no idea how to get back to where we were parked. So we skipped the museum and hopped the trolley back to Quincy market, stopped at Sprinkles for some more ice cream and then headed back to the hotel for swimming, dinner, uno and Wine for me and my mother!
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The Boston Go card wasn’t worth it for what we did, in my opinion. We did get our monies worth, I think, but I am not sure we actually saved anything. Then again, if we had gone to the Fine arts museum and the science museum, it totally would have been worth it. So maybe if we stayed an extra day and bought an extra day pass.
The hotel was nice, I think next time I would spend an extra day and maybe get a room in Boston so we could just walk everywhere or take the T.
Boston is amazing. You should definitely go and spend at least a few days here. There is so much to do and it’s all fairly close together.  We went in March and maybe next time I would go more in the spring so more outdoor things would be open and it would be nicer weather to be outside. We did have pretty good weather when we went but as it got dark, it got a little chilly. We will be back!
Family Reviews:
Husband: I know it’s an old city but it didn’t seem like it was an old city and there is so much history there. It’s very well wrapped up and preserved. Taking the Trolley was a favorite part and being able to see the sights and learn about everything was fun. I will definitely go back there is a million more things to see and do. I wouldn’t mind staying were we stayed because you liked the amount of space and options and it’s only 10 minutes away but I wouldn’t mind being in the city and being able to walk everywhere.
Daughter Review: I liked Boston. My favorite part was the USS Constitution and the penguins are the aquarium. I definitely want to go back and explore more. I liked the hotel I wish the pool was bigger.
Son Review: I liked Boston. My favorite part was eating the oysters and clams at Union House restaurant. I liked the Children’s museum and wish we could have stayed longer. I liked the pool when it was just us in it.
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Have you been to Boston? What are some of your favorite things to do, eat, see?

10 year old me

Hi. My name is Jessica. I’m 10. I am not like the popular girls. I’m not a Girl Scout, I don’t have pretty clothes, and I don’t do gymnastics so that leaves about 2 girls in my grade that will talk to me. I live in a little town called riverside. It’s nice, minus the not having very many friends at my school.  There’s this boy named Brian that calls me bald eagle because I have a scar on the top of my head. Right in the middle of my scalp. A big bald spot from when I had cradle cap as a baby. My mom said I scratched it so much I made it scar so no hair ever grew there. I tell people that I fell down the stairs and my hair got stuck on bubble gum and it ripped it out and then no hair ever grew back.
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I do have friends of course. But they are older and they all live on my street or a few streets over. They’re so cool and they actually like me so it makes school bearable. My friend Katie has an older sister who leaves her make up out so we do make overs. Our friend Drew comes over and we dress him up in neon mini skirts and belly shirts and watch La Bamba and Beaches and eat huge bowls of fruity pebbles.
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Then we stuff our fake bras with tube socks and walk down to the penny candy store with our scrunchie socks layered. Katie has the coolest clothes. After that we steal money from Drew’s grandmother and some Capri cigarettes and smoke them on the way to McDonald’s to split a 20 piece McNugget and a large fries. I don’t actually smoke yet. I just hold it in my mouth and blow it out like I’m cool. I don’t actually inhale till a few years later.
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Drew can drive too. But only in his driveway, so we pump new kids on the block, Whitney, Janet and Mariah and cruise up and down his driveway for hours. I have a big pin of Donnie that I put on my backpack. Katie can have Joe, Donnie is for me. My friend Kristen, who’s actually my age, loves Danny.
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One day Cathy shows up at Drew’s house claiming that mayo is a great conditioner so we take and entire tub of miracle whip and slather it in on her head. She has died her hair one to many times and her hair is crispy. After the great Miracle whip conditioning, I can never eat it again and her hair is greasy for a month.
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My next door neighbor Cory explores the woods with me. Her older brother is in college and we go visit him at Cornell University in upstate New York.  It’s super cool.  He goes to a party and leaves us to watch movies and hang out in his dorm. I feel so grown up as we blast Kris Kross and eat ice cream all night. Cory also tells me about the woman in the woods with marble size holes in her face that watches children from her window and then sneaks out at night and watches you through your windows. I am so scared my mom forbids Cory from coming over for a few weeks. But Cory lives next door so, sure.
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10 year old me loves reading. I love exploring the woods (when not being followed by a woman with holes in her face) and I looove singing. One day I am going to sing and be famous. One day I’ll write poetry and books and live in a House looking over the ocean.
I’m in fifth grade and none of the girls in school ever really talk to me but I know I am awesome. They take turns showing off their cool clothes and doing splits. I can’t do splits and all my clothes are hand me downs from my two older brothers. I’m not as skinny as the other girls and I am not as pretty. But I have awesome friends and some crazy stories and that’s good enough for me!
Gym class is awful because we have to change and I feel like everyone is looking at me. I try so hard to hide in the corner but I can hear the girls whispering in the corner. I get so mad and I take my water bottle and spray it in all their lockers right before break so when they come back everyone has moldy, stinky clothes.  Everyone except a few people. Me and the two people that talk to me. I confess and get after school detention. I have to help the art teacher clean the art room. She has holes in her face but she’s not scary and she gives me all the art supplies that they are going to replace for the next year. She gives me books and clay and paper and tells me that she likes me and I can help her anytime. I spend the first week of summer vacation going to the school helping her clean out her art room just so I can spend time with her. She’s fascinating and artsy and awesome.
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Next year I go to middle school and decide that I will talk to all the new people and make some friends my age. And I do. And I am still friends with some of them. I am also still friends with some of those cool crazy fun older kids that lived around me.
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It’s Friday! I am so happy for the weekend even though I will spend Saturday cleaning and Sunday at kids birthday parties, I’ll be with my family for the entire day so that makes me happy. Last night I kept thinking about growing up and something about being 10 stuck in my head so I figured why not make a blog about it. To me it was a great time and it makes me think about my own child who’s about to turn 10 and how different things are. I know that’s such an old person thing to say, it’s really true. My kids can’t just go out side and down the road by themselves for an entire day like I did. I spent my childhood mostly outside and around the neighborhood exploring. My kids stick mainly to the back yard. It’s just different. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Facebook Spam?

Every morning during the week I post a blog while I drink my coffee, and then I pin it to pintrest. Then I go on twitter and jump on as many blog follow trains as possible. Next I go to Facebook and post it on my blog and book page and finally I post it on my author page to all my friends. Sometimes I will also share it to some groups that I am part of too. I read the blogs I follow and then keep an eye out all day for people who are reading me so I can read them back.
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I guess something happen yesterday and I was marked as spam. I don’t understand why all of a sudden everything, even things I posted weeks ago, are now blocked. That’s so weird to me. I have tried to say it wasn’t spam. It’s my stuff  and my page clearly says that I will be posting the links back to my blog.
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My husband thinks that somehow I was picked up in some kind of algorithm thing, or that someone reported me as spam. Either way, I am not able to post on there anymore right now and I am a little annoyed. I mean, I don’t really get much traffic from there but I did get one book sale back in February. I was hoping to get a few more sales and some more followers on my page eventually.
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Last month I did an ad with Facebook and I have to say that it was a waste of my $15.00 credit. I reached 1200 people, had 12 people engage and sold 0 books… So how is me posting my blogs spam, but they can run an ad for me? I don’t get it.
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So I am back to twitter and Pintrest for now until I get out of Facebook jail. I am trying to figure out Instagram still. I have no idea how to work Instagram yet.
I’m kind of running out of ideas on how to attract readers and believe me, I am reading all the pins on how to but nothing is giving me more traffic yet.
Does anyone have any things that worked great for them? Any websites that have yielded great results? I am slowly growing and I am super happy about that. I really want to figure out how to make some kind of side income off this. I do enjoy it and I am definitely going to keep at it. Some days just feel like defeat and some days feel like a win. Today felt like a little defeat since I have invested a good amount of time into building up the Facebook pages and now everything is frozen.
What’s your experience so far? What are the best platforms you have used to promote your blogs?

Cooking and Eating – Two on my favorite things

When I was young I loooooved to bake. Muffins, cupcakes, cakes. I used to make my mom take me to the library so I could take out recipe books. I remember taking a Japanese cooking class in elementary school and I fell in love with trying new things.
I worked in restaurants right up until I was pregnant with my son and then I decided that I needed a career change with better hours so I went back to school,  finished my associates and switched to office management and then medical billing. I do miss the restaurant, just not the hours.
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When I was pregnant with my daughter, my in laws gave me a kitchen aide mixer for my birthday. Bright Red. I love that thing.
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I made breads every week and cookies every weekend. I tried and failed my first from scratch cake… I think it would have worked out but we were going to a friends house for dinner and I did not time the cooling part so my icing melted and the top layer slide off. It was not pretty, but it was edible.
Then I had my daughter and sort of put bread making on the side while I got used to 2 kids. I am starting to get back into it but I need to focus more on healthy because my husband and I need to lose about 20 lbs. Okay, 30 really.
I love to cook. I love the internet for looking for new recipes, you can find pretty much anything you look for. And pretty authentic recipes too. So far I have made Jamaican, Indian, Greek, Italian, Polish, Czech, Peruvian, Mexican, Thai, American southern, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and that’s really all I can think of right now. There is really nothing that I won’t try. I am totally open to new things. I am slowly working my way through the library.
This year I will be focused on healthier eating and I will be posting the good things on here. So follow this blog already because I promise there will be some interesting things.
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I cook Easter, a big family reunion in the summer and Thanksgiving for my entire family (and any friends they may bring) every year and it makes me so happy to have people I love get together and eat, relax, catch up and have fun.
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(Side note: Why  is it so hard to find a mixed race family BBQ picture? )
In the future, when my kids get older and I finally become a successful blogger and best selling author, and I have some time (ha ha) I would like to open up a free kitchen serving lunch Wednesday through Sunday. Just to have people come sit and eat. That is my ultimate dream. I know we will make it happen one day.
What’s your favorite thing to do? What’s your ultimate dream?

After I die

Have you ever thought about it? Like what you would like people to do with your remains? Assuming there are some. I know it’s kind of a morbid question. Let me explain.
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My father died unexpectedly last July leaving my mother and the rest of our immediate family to kind of navigate the entire what do you do after someone dies stuff… I guess there isn’t very much explanation needed, huh…
My father had said that he wanted to be cremated, so we did that. Since his body wasn’t in the best shape (he was gored by his bull on his farm) we opted to put together a bunch of pictures and have a empty Urn stand in for the funeral. We didn’t need to buy a casket or pay for any of the body prep/clean up since we weren’t doing an open casket. The entire funeral home bill was around $4,500.00.
My father and mother had moved away from our hometown so my dad could pursue his dream of running a farm. We decided that we would lay him to rest back in our hometown of Greenwich, CT. My great grandparents have a plot and there was space to add my fathers ashes for $720.00.
He was in the Navy so the Navy sent us a stone for wherever we choose to bury him. We bought a urn which now that everything is complete, I am not entirely sure we needed. Then there was a flag that the Navy sent as well, so we bought a flag case.
We had his funeral in Upstate New York, where the Farm is. My father was a retired firefighter for the town of Greenwich. We had a memorial about a month later in Greenwich, CT and the Fire Department showed up to give my dad a proper fireman send off and held a lunch at the firehouse afterwards. Everything worked out for the memorial. The firehouse did a salute as we drove by in the fire truck that my father drove when he worked for the town. It was really touching and more than I could have imagined.
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Being that Dad’s death was so unexpected, I am not quite sure how we got through it all. Honestly, it is all a blur now that I look back at it. The money isn’t important in all this but I mention it because it got my mom and I talking about after we die on the drive home from Boston this past Sunday.
My mother said that she was going to take out a life insurance policy for herself for $5-10,000 to help us with the costs after she dies. My initial response was to say “Mom, let’s not talk about that right now.”  Instead I thought that it was probably not a terrible idea to talk about it.  So we did.
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We spoke about her wishes to be cremated and where she would prefer to be buried. I assumed it was with my dad and she said she didn’t know if that was possible but that there are plots where her mother and father are buried too. I told her that I was looking into more life insurance for my husband and I as well.
That’s kind of where we left it for now. But I at least know the basics of what she would like and I think that is really important because there is so much that is thrown at you when you are taking care of everything after someone you love dies. There are a lot of questions and everything is kind of foggy so it’s nice to at least have a little bit of insight into what the person actually wants.
I think these conversations are important and as I get older I realize that it should be something that should be discussed and I am glad that my mom and I had the discussion.
I plan on talking to my husband a little more about it this week just because I think it is an important thing to talk about.
I always said “I don’t care what you do with me after I die.. Just throw me wherever!” after going through the entire process with my father, I think it’s much better to have a little bit of a road map because there is so much information and questions and everyone is still trying to just get through a day.
Have you had conversations like this before with loved ones?

Excerpt from Growing…Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Career changes
We had our son Sam and then 2 1/2 years later we had our Daughter Isabel. When Sam was 4 and Isabel 1 1/2 , we bought our first house. In those 4 years a lot happen. Including some of the toughest parts of our marriage to date.
We moved to Stamford when Sam was a few months old. He was such a cute little pork chop. He 9 now, but he is still my baby boy. When we moved we were so happy. We had a really nice condo apartment in a nice area of Stamford. Our landlord was getting married so he was moving out of his condo and in with his new Wife cause she had a house in Norwalk.
She was the one who met us to show us the apartment. She was so nice and happy and cooing over Sam and The fact that we had a pit bull was no problem. Up until that point we had found many places we liked but if you mention a Pit Bull they say no way. Nacho is a part of our family, there is no way we were leaving him behind.
We found this place in Stamford. For the first two years we are so happy. I find out I am expecting right around the time that my landlord finds out that she is expecting too. She tells us about this great new job she has selling insurance. She’s making so much money. She’s selling it to all the other doctors that work with her husband so it’s so easy and if Ray came to work with her then they could be a team and they could both make all this money. She came to our apartment and sat at our table while I made dinner and convinced Ray to take all the tests to be able to sell insurance. He was working at a hospital in New York and he was not happy so this would give him a chance to be closer to home and work whatever hours he wants. He’s intrigued. I say no. I am not a sales person. You tell me you don’t need something and I will tell you you are probably right. By the time our landlord leaves Ray has decided he is going to look into this.
Meanwhile my job at the Chiropractors  office is going terrible. They are terrible people and they are terribly mean to me.  I have anxiety attacks thinking about going to work. We have this client Angela. She really likes me and she said that she is an office manager at a OBGYN in Stamford and she wants to hire me to do side work, like if someone calls out, I can come fill in. I am pregnant and she doesn’t care. she hires me and I work there when I am not working at the Chiropractors office. This helps because sometimes I don’t get paid on time from the Chiropractors. Whoops they say, I thought I called Paychex.
Then everything happens at once. I have Isabel on December 9th. I don’t have maternity leave but they give me 10 hours pay a week out of the kindness of their hearts. I usually worked around 28 hours. After 2 weeks home with Isabel I start going back to work with her when the office is closed so that I can process their billing and post the payments. I bring Bel with me and breast feed her while I work. They pay me for the 10 hours I work. At the end of December Ray’s job at the hospital lets him go. They no longer need that job anymore. Ray calls our landlord and tells them that he was let go of his job. Oh don’t worry they say, take your time and pay us what you can. Ray tells the woman landlord that he has finished all his tests and he’s ready to sell insurance. She says okay, she’ll be there to help him. She has her baby. Ray has no one to help him.
The thing with Insurance sales is you have this “warm” market which consists of your friends and family. Initially you can make money selling insurance to these people. But when your warm market goes cold, you have to really be a good sales person to keep going. Ray tried, he really did. And he made a little bit. What followed those few months were terrible. My job was awful. The bosses just got worse and worse and were treating me terrible. They didn’t pay on time. We had no income from Ray’s side. We pulled the kids from daycare to stay with Ray and when I wasn’t working he would go out to network and stand at the train stations and call up every doctor he ever met at his old job to see if they needed anything. We did events and I would call everyone who showed interest. But usually they weren’t interested anymore.
The landlords were wondering when we would be paying the back rent that we owed. It was a bad situation. The lady landlord that promised to help Ray disappeared and let her husband command the rent. I thought for months that we were always on the verge of being kicked out. It was terrible.
I had panic attacks about how I was going to buy groceries with $100.00 a week for 4 people. We had $30.00 each a week for gas. I was so stressed my breast milk dried up and I couldn’t breast feed anymore so I had to supplement with formula. I’m telling you, I would never ever wish that on anyone. We didn’t qualify for any help from the state. I made to much money they said.
In May I decided that I could not take the Chiropractors anymore and I called my part time job and begged for anything full time. I loved the billing part of my job and it turned out that they just had a billing position open at Norwalk hospital. There were so many people who wanted it but Angela pushed my resume in their hands and said that I was already on the payroll and she recommended me and that they should at least “try me out” for a couple weeks and then make a decision. They said yes, they would try me out. I quit my job at the chiropractors that day with 2 weeks notice.
If I thought I was treated badly before I was really wrong. It got so much worse after that. The husband Chiropractor wouldn’t even talk or look to me anymore. And the Wife would yell at me when she talked to me. Finally that Friday after I gave notice when I didn’t get paid I waited in the dark. When she got there, I said I wasn’t going to work until I got paid. She said “what are you going to do, sue me? I should sue you for destroying my practice!” I said”I can call the labor department and tell them you are not paying your employees.” She told me to get out or she would call the cops.
Man, it felt good to walk out of there. I did finally end up getting paid the following week. I did open an investigation on them, but since they paid me there was nothing to be done.
To be honest, I knew that they were running the practice into the ground. I told them we needed new clients and the deals they made with people were just wrong. They spent all the money on all their hobbies and then there was no money left to pay the employees. Then I would get yelled at to make money appear. I knew every file in that place without even looking at it, what the persons insurance was and how much they covered for each visit. I can honestly say that I walked away with a clear conscious.
I heard after I left they talked very badly about me. They hired their old receptionist back. The one who left before me and they were so happy. A year later their amazing receptionist was charged with forging prescriptions to herself and they fired her.
The following week I started at the hospital and 2 weeks later I accepted a full time position as a Medical Biller. Pay was a little less but I had more hours and no stress.
At some point Ray was like fuck insurance. He gave it a go, but it wasn’t going to happen. He started to focus on his computer skills. He changed his resume to highlight that and started sending it out. In August he accepted a full time position as help desk IT at a place in Greenwich. The starting pay was enough to bring us current with everything.
We caught up on rent in September. I remember giving the husband landlord the final back rent check and he said “my wife stopped selling insurance too.” I closed the door before I could yell at him.  Even though we were always on time with rent after that day it was never the same.
We were able to buy our first house a few years after this. but I will always remember how tough it was and how my husband and I worked through it together.
As for me the Hospital Position was great and gave me a great opportunity to learn so many things. Then there was a merge and all of our positions were being moved up to Danbury which is a 45 minute drive each way. Our positions didn’t exist anymore and most of us weren’t qualified for a lateral move. That job also became very stressful because I was promoted to a supervisor position which I think was just because everyone in those positions were leaving. My boss was fired and a new person who was contracted came in to prepare us for the merge. We were given job descriptions of jobs that we could apply for and nothing was guaranteed.  It’s terrible going to work and not feeling like it’s secure. I also was upset because my children were young (5 and 2 1/2) and in school in Norwalk. Ray was working in Greenwich and with traffic, that’s an hour drive each way as well. Someone had to be close to them. I started reapply for new jobs in Norwalk and luckily I found one in Norwalk at a great non-profit doing billing and I am close to my kids.
I intend to go back to school and I am still figuring that all out. Ray has moved jobs from Greenwich to Norwalk into a more senior position and  it’s really nice to finally all be in the same town.
Buy my book! Half the proceeds will be donated!

Buy a book and I’ll make a donation!

Happy Weekend!
I am going to try something new with my books. I have 4 books written. They are all short. 27-37 pages. I have them listed below and they are all $2.99 on amazon. I will be donating half of the proceeds ($1.04 per book) every month to a different non profit.
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Buy a book and half of the proceeds will go towards a mental health awareness non profit from now (3/15/2019)  till the end of April (since we are already half way through March).
I will announce the non profit on my blog at the end of April. If you have any recommendations, shoot me an email or comment and I will look into them.
So, what are you waiting for?
Pick a book and let’s donate!
This was a tough book for me to write. It’s stories of tough times I went through in my life.
Kissing all the frogs: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L1HPVX5
A short book on all the stupid relationships I had that eventually lead me to my husband.
Working my way through life: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K72DRZD
A short book on all the jobs I have had throughout my life and some things that I learned along the way.
Having Children and some things they don’t tell you  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NKB848R
A Short book on the first 5 years of my kids lives and some things that I learned.

PCOS and me

PCOS is  Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age. Women with PCOS may have infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods or excess male hormone (androgen) levels. The ovaries may develop numerous small collections of fluid (follicles) and fail to regularly release eggs.
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I have it. I’ve had irregular periods all my life.  I had to take birth control to regulate them. I have IBS and hashimotos thyroid disease also. My thyroid is still functioning fine so I’m okay they say. I’m just fat cause I love food. Especially bread, cheese and wine. I can lose weight by starving, really it’s that hard for me. My doctor gave me a prescription for metformin to help my body regulate blood sugar. I’m not diabetic but this drug apparently might help my lose weight cause of the PCOS. I took it for 1 1/2 weeks and then stopped. I can’t understand taking a drug to help my body regulate insulin if I don’t actually need a drug to help my body regulate insulin. If I needed it, I would take it. But just to lose some weight? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel right so I just stopped taking it. I would maybe try it again if there was enough out there that proved that the medication really did help. As of right now everything I found had said there is no real proof that Metformin will help with weight loss in women with PCOS.
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Growing up, I took birth control to regulate my period. So I felt normal. But then I got married and I was like let’s try this whole baby thing. I doubt anything will happen because I was pretty sure I couldn’t have kids,  but lets try. And then I had my son. I got depo shot after I had him and I didn’t get my period for almost a year. And I gained 30 lbs. the weight gain had nothing to do with the shot they said. They gave me pills to make me get my period. It didn’t work. They gave me another round.  It still didn’t work. At that point my husband and I hadn’t  had sex in 3 months. One thing lead to the next, what could possibly happen? Then I had my daughter.
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I decided I didn’t want to be on birth control anymore. My husband volunteered to get snipped cause it’s easier than if I got my tubes tied.  So he did. I went off birth control. Only to have a lot of doctors tell me I actually needed it. Fuck. So I’m rolling with it. But now I sort of want to have another baby like a dummy. I’m not having another baby.
I actually didn’t enjoy being pregnant. It’s really hard for me to share my body. Even if I’m growing a human. My body felt like it wasn’t mine and I was weird. I love my kids and I would never change the experience of having them, but I was very happy to have my body back.
I was diagnosed with all these things last year. I was told how amazing it was that I was able to have any kids. I am very proud of them. I guess it was good that I didn’t know all these things before we tried because I think I would have stressed myself out.
What are some symptoms? From https://www.webmd.com/women/symptoms-of-pcos

Things You Might Notice

If you have things such as oily skin, missed periods, or trouble losing weight, you may think those issues are just a normal part of your life. But those frustrations could actually be signs that you have polycystic ovary (or ovarian) syndrome, also known as PCOS.
The condition has many symptoms, and you may not have all of them. It’s pretty common for it to take women a while — even years — to find out they have this condition.
You might be most bothered by some of the PCOS symptoms that other people can notice. These include:
  • Hair growth in unwanted areas. Your doctor may call this “hirsutism” (pronounced HUR-soo-tiz-uhm). You might have unwanted hair growing in places such as on your face or chin, breasts, stomach, or thumbs and toes.
  • Hair loss. Women with PCOS might see thinning hair on their head, which could worsen in middle age.
  • Weight problems. About half of women with PCOS struggle with weight gain or have a hard time losing weight.
  • Acne or oily skin. Because of hormone changes related to PCOS, you might develop pimples and oily skin. (You can have these skin problemswithout PCOS, of course).
  • Problems sleeping, feeling tired all the time. You could have trouble falling asleep. Or you might have a disorder known as sleep apnea. This means that even when you do sleep, you do not feel well-rested after you wake up.
  • Headaches. This is because of hormone changes with PCOS.
  • Trouble getting pregnant. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility.
  • Period problems. You could have irregular periods. Or you might not have a period for several months. Or you might have very heavy bleeding during your period.

About me

I know I have a great story somewhere. I know it. I lived a good story so far. I’m sure that’s something. I know I have a good story. It’s somewhere. I know it.
I have been blogging seriously on the side for 4 months now and really trying to grow this time. I am trying to become a real author eventually.  To date I sold 2 books. One to the librarian and one to someone else. The someone else gave me such positive feedback and I was so happy. Then he messaged me like “No one will ever buy your book. My market is to small. My writing is good but needs to be focused on a sell able genre.” So, thank you for the review?
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I want to write what I know. And I know what I have lived. So I write that. There has to be a market for that, right?  Maybe I’ll sell some. That’s my dream, but for now I am just trying to grow and audience. So thank you for stopping by and I hope that you stay!
My real name is Jessica. I live in Connecticut in the US. I am feeling like no one is going to buy my damn books no matter what price I charge. I write about me and my experience. It’s the only thing I know 100%. But no one will find that interesting if I am not already famous said the guy that I don’t know that did buy one book. So I am trying to figure out my next move. Do I try to write a fiction book and see if that will help me? Do I keep the books I have and continue to promote them? Can I promote books and not have to actually interact with anyone? I’m really terrible at public speaking. I’m terrified actually.
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The thing is I really am not interesting at all. I go to work. I go home. I take care of my people. I am not that interesting. I use to always joke about how my life could be a soap opera. And it really could have 20 years ago, which is why I wrote the books I have.  But really, my life is not a soap opera, not anymore. I mean, maybe some of it.
I have a 4th grade  teacher who’s a bully to my son, I’m trying to figure that out. My daughter is crazy silly and funny. My husband is amazing. I am just trying to move forward in life. I am working on trying to have multiple revenue streams that will one day just pour into my account. Well,that’s a dream of mine, so that’s what I am working on. I guess I better get super interesting quick, huh?
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I am just trying to figure out what my next moves are and I hope that you all will follow with me while I figure out my next career. Thank you for taking the time to read!
What are you currently working on?

Public speaking and me

I am terrible at public speaking. I just can’t. I get all red. I talk super fast. I can’t breath. I put off speech class until my absolute last class that I had to take to get my Associates. Luckily, I was 7 months pregnant when taking the class and then I felt like if people laughed at the bright red, trying not to faint, pregnant girl, then they were just assholes. My first speech was a how to speech. I decided to do “How to fold a flag” That was a terrible idea because everyone could see how shaky I was! Then I discovered the PowerPoint presentation and that helped a lot so people could focus on pretty pictures and not me. I passed the class.
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I have a severe problem speaking in front of people. Even in meetings at work I don’t speak unless spoken to and even then I get nervous.  Even when I know what I am talking about. It’s usually about 3 years in that I feel like I can actually speak for a few minutes and not turn weird colors.
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I made a deal with my best friend that if my books ever do sell that she would have to go on the interviews because I would mess up my words and then be mad at myself for the rest of eternity.
How are you with public speaking? Are you are weird and awkward as me? Or are you like my husband and best friend who can get up in front of people and talk about anything and people just like them and listen and laugh. I’ll leave the public speaking to them.