So as mentioned in my previous post one of the things I want to do by the time I’m 30 is strengthen my relationship with Christ. I don’t want to be a lukewarm, watered down Christian. I want to be a godly woman who’s after God’s heart, on fire for him and sooo deeply in love with him to the point where my happiness and joy is contagious. In order for this to happen there are some things I have to work on like my identity in Christ. With that being said I started a devotional today. It’s called a Woman of significance ( Knowing your identity in God).
Today’s question was Who do you think you are? The writer said.”
if you believe that you are a woman of value, significance, and destiny, then that is how you will approach life. And you will treat others with value, importance, and worth regardless of how they have treated you. if you believe that you are a loser and that God forgot you when it came to talents, looks, and intelligence, then you will respond as a defeated human being. You will allow others to take advantage of you, and you will react out of emotions rather than out of purpose and destiny. You will never be able to live beyond who you think that you are. You will not break out of your own limitations unless you first break into who God says that you are. In order to discover who we are as women and who we were created to become we must go back to the beginning.
This is so true. Growing up I knew about god but didn’t have a relationship with him. I was always teased and made fun of because I have a disability. This disability does not affect my facial features at all but yet people made me believe it did. They’d literally say things like “you’re pretty for a girl in a wheelchair” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? Or my favorite “I’d date you if you weren’t in a chair” ….what?🤔 comments like these affected my self-esteem in ways I can’t even explain. (I’ll talk about it in my book) I’d always ask why did God make me like this? I started believing I was stupid I would even call myself retarded. I’d always always act out of emotions,so if you said something to hurt my feelings instead of me saying hey that hurt my feelings I’d intentionally say something to hurt yours. I’m talking something that you didn’t see coming, something that left you at a loss for words and if I was really in the mood I’d make you cry.
Then Jesus entered my life! Best decision I’ve ever made also the hardest
Since accepting him as my Lord and Savior life has gotten much better. You can come up to me call me ugly and it won’t affect me I’ll literally look you in your face and thank you. Weird right? I know but it’s because I now know what god says about me. I still sometimes try to cancel myself out because I don’t feel or think I’m worthy but this too shall pass. Baby steps
How do you view yourself, do you believe you are beautifully and wonderfully made?? Because Jesus himself says you are!💜
Have you ever thought about the things you want to happen in your life by the time you reach a certain age?? I know I have. So much so that I’ve already started working towards them.
1. Have a stronger relationship with God-This is essential!! As you may or may not know I gave my life to Christ 3 years ago and it has been quite the journey if I don’t say so myself. Challenging but by far the best decision I’ve ever made in life. One of these days I’ll share my testimony he’s changed my life completely!! Yet I struggle to put him first🤦🏽♀️
2. Love myself more- This is pretty self-explanatory. Growing up with a disability I was teased a lot because of this I struggle with a shit load of insecurities.
3. Read more- Reading has never been my thing it’s something I’ve struggled with for years because of my disability. By the grace of god I’m happy to say this is no longer a struggle. However I still hate it and prefer her not to pick one up. I want to change this. I want to make reading a habit. I want to start by reading 3 books a year then gradually increase. (Keep me in your prayers )
4. Meet Chris Brown- Anyone that knows me knows I love this man to death! How could you not I mean just look at that smile!!… sorry I had a moment lol. I’ve seen him in concert twice but that’s not good enough I wanna be able to hug him and yes I’m telling you now I. Will. Definitely. Ugly Cry.
5. Have my own House– My mom and I actually brought a 2 family house 4 years ago this year. However by the time I’m 30 I want have my own!! For some reason she wants me living with her forever smh.
6. Travel outside of my city at least– I’ve actually been to North or South Carolina when I was about 9 to visit my Great great grandmother for her birthday. She turned 102 that year I believe. However I’ve always wanted to go to Puerto Rico.
7. Have my own business or businesses- I’m not 100% sure what I want to do because if I’m honest I’d do it all but something along the lines of helping people come to Christ. We’ll see what he has in store for me.
8. Attempt to learn how to speak Spanish fluently- I taught myself Spanish as a little girl by simply watching Spanish networks/listening to music all day. For some reason I stopped I understand a little bit but not as much as I used to and I’ve never felt brave enough to speak it. (If you don’t use it you lose it)
9. Become an author- I’m actually working on this now. My first book that is. Only 9 more chapters to write and it’s done, ready for the world to read!! To say I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m an open book yes but also very private person. Meaning I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me but at the same time I’m very careful with who and what I share if that makes sense?? So just the thought alone of having both people I know and don’t read about my life is A bit nerve-racking. But hey if me telling my story can help lead someone to Christ or just simply let them know they’re not alone it’s worth it right??
10. Learn to play the piano- So after years and years of asking as a child my mom finally decided to get me a keyboard this past Christmas at 25…better late than never right?? Only problem now is it’s not working 🥺 it was working all January/February but when March came all of a sudden it stopped. They sold her a refurbished already broken keyboard and we can’t take it back because this stupid annoying ass coronavirus wants shut the whole entire world down 🤦🏽♀️
11. Meet Roman Reigns– yes I am a 25 year old woman who watches wrestling. Although the wrestlers today are not as entertaining or exciting as the ones when I was growing up were there a still a few that manage to get my adrenaline going like Roman reigns. I don’t know what it is about him but every time he steps in the ring I’m fired up. Yelling, screaming, cursing and even shit talking to his opponent as if he could here me through the screen. ridiculous right? I know don’t judge me I told you I don’t know what it is about him that makes me act such a fool. Also he taught me how to believe in what I pray for. For those of you that don’t know back in October 2018 he announced that he was battling leukemia for the second time. Talk about heartbreak. I cried myself to sleep for days and prayed every day and night. On February 25, 2019 exactly 5 months and two days later he announced that the cancer is in remission!! Y’all can’t tell me Jesus ain’t real or that prayer doesn’t work!!!
I Challenge you to give Jesus and prayer a try for a month, have an open mind and heart and he will gladly reveal himself to you.
12. Eat healthier- By the grace of god I’m extremely healthy, always have been but my eating is poor. I literally hate almost everything that’s supposed to be good for you except bananas, spinach, grapes, broccoli, cantaloupe and I just started eating oranges again this year after years of not eating them because of the smell. Yes I said smell I hate it!!! It doesn’t make me sick or anything I just hate it 😂😂 can you tell how much I HATE the smell of oranges?? Maybe one day I’ll do a rant on why I HATE IT sooo much. Would you guys read??
13. Manage my time effectively- we all have the same 24 hours, it’s what we do with them that makes a difference. I’m currently a huge procrastinator as if time waits for me. Knowing good and well that time waits for no man and tomorrow isn’t promised.
14. Learn To Accept Compliments- This ties into numbers2. As I mentioned earlier growing up with a disability I was teased a lot because of this I struggle with a shit load of insecurities. I’m 25 and getting told I’m pretty/ beautiful from a guy is kind of foreign to me. I know I know it’s sad.
15. Learn how to network
16. Work on my temper
17. Grow my blog- This may sound a little unrealistic I know but by the time I’m in my 30s I want 2,000,000+ followers on here. Anything is possible with God!!
18. Stop being so hard on myself- Not sure if I’m the only person who does this but when I can’t figure something out on my own I tend to be ridiculously hard on myself.
19. Get a degree in something- I wanted to go to culinary school after high school but sadly things didn’t work in my favor. Maybe I’ll try again in the future.
20. Have patients- patients?? What are those?? Just kidding I’m working on them.
21. Step out of my comfort zone
22. Have excellent credit-my biggest fear is being in a lot of credit card debt so while in high school I made The decision to never gets a credit card. Problem is no one ever told me you literally need credit for almost everything you do. I’m doing good so far.
23. Grow my hair long again– yes this was actually my real hair. Please don’t ask what happened I’m not strong enough to talk about lol…seriously it makes me sad.
24. Get in better shape- I wrote a blog about my fitness journey go read and join me if you’d like.
25. Meet the man of my dreams– come on now Jesus I’m ready to settle down!!!
This was supposed to be a 30 by30 bucket list but I couldn’t come of so many
Although I still have a long way to go I’m happy to say that I’m five years away from 30 and about nine of the things on this list are starting to manifest or have already happened! I do understand that I may not accomplish everything by that age but some things are better then nothing at all in my opinion.
Have you ever took the time to sit down and think?? And I’m not talking about thinking about all the things you have to get done tomorrow. I’m talking about your future, specifically the house you want?? Where it would be? How would it look? How many bedrooms and bathrooms and most importantly how would you decorate?? I sure have!! I’ve never been The materialistic type of girl I am literally content with everything the Lord has given me including the house I live in now. However… That doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream right?? With that being said here it is
Location: This is something I still have to figure out. I’ve always said I wanted to live in California, I’ve never been but for some reason I think it’s so beautiful. However I may have to reconsider this for two reasons. 1. Physical therapy isn’t available there. I’m not sure how true this is but a few years ago when I was still in school there was a show called Push girls about four women in wheelchairs. I went to school telling a teacher about it and she posted a message on their Facebook page, surprisingly a day or two later the father of one of the cast members reached out which led to her doing a Q&A with the whole school. I can’t remember the exact question I asked but it had something to do with physical therapy. She explained how getting therapy was a little difficult for her because it’s not available there. Being wheelchair-bound this is something pretty important..Well at least for me. 2. The weather. I’m always hearing stories about wildfires and earthquakes. Not to think negative but it wouldn’t be easy for me to stop drop and roll if something were to happen.
I really like the layout of these living rooms they all make me feel like grabbing a cup of hot chocolate and snacks and cuddling up with husband on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy well the kids are asleep. I’d probably get black or gray Couch’s instead of white because I have O.C.D. And kids are messy. It’ll drive me crazy seeing Orange cheese puffs hand Prints or juice stains on My white couch!
Bedrooms: I’d like about 8 bedrooms!! Yes 8.
My Room… Can you tell I love purple?? My poor husband will probably get annoyed with purple and blue “ sorry in advance bae! Seriously” A room for each of our children, something tells me he’ll want 5 or more. A guest room and not 1 but 2 offices. Other couples may share their office but I want my own.
Kitchen: This isn’t really my ideal kitchen but I chose it for the color. Yes I want a kitchen with Black cabinets and counters because again kids are messy.
Bathrooms I say we’ll need at least 3 of them. One in our room, the kids can share and one for the guest.
Pool: Last but but not least a pool for those hot summer days!!
Well that’s it for dream house that’ll most like stay just that….A dream lol. Do you have a dream house??