Let’s be honest

I’m not sure if I have a drinking problem. Recently I have been reading a lot on drinking and what’s considered okay. I don’t usually drink at all Monday thru Thursday. Come Friday I get wine and I indulge. A box of wine lasts me the weekend. Sometimes I drink bourbon on the rocks. I get all my stuff done during the day and then change into my pj’s at night and drink some and watch some movies or read a book. Growing up my parents drank a lot. My dad could crush a 18 pack everyday but he was working and drinking and functioning. My mom sometimes gets a little loopy… as do I, sometimes. I have a job. I get my chores done. I function. I don’t need to drink, it’s just something that I do when I get to relax on the weekends.
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Last year, I was like I am not going to drink for a while. And I didn’t. When my dad died in July from a farm accident, I started drinking every day for a while to help me sleep even though nothing really helped me sleep. From July till October I was drinking basically daily. In October, I woke up and I thought I was dying. I felt the worst pain right under my ribs. I went to the doctor like I think I broke my liver. She said it was acid reflux and heartburn. I never had that before. I quit drinking for a month for the most part and then holiday’s. Now I have fallen back into the habit of drinking on the weekends. My younger sister said that she only remembers my parents drinking all the time. That’s part of why she doesn’t drink at all. I don’t have those memories. I have good memories when they weren’t drinking at all and then some good memories of having a few beers with my parents. The thing is I don’t know if it’s really effecting my kids, or if they even notice. I mean they see me drink but I’m not drunk.  I guess I am just not sure what is a problem and what’s not. What’s the tipping point? What is not okay?
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I have been seeing a lot about liver transplants and how it’s more common and related to drinking now. I have a friend who I saw a few months ago. She said her mom died from drinking and she never even knew her mom drank that much. I watch my kids go to sleep and I think, am I messing up and they will have to bury me one day because of these choices? Then of course I googled it and now every ad I see is about drinking and liver damage.
Anyway, I think I am going to lay off the weekend drinking for a while. It’s just that I really enjoy it sometimes. No one has said that I drink to much, I have just been thinking about it lately. So what are you’re thoughts? Do you drink? If so how much and how often?

Bath note

My husband is away for the first time ever. 6 days. 5 nights. 3000 miles away. My daughter is not taking it well…Actually, none of us are. My husband and I have our chores divided. We balance each other. It’s really hard to not have my husband here to help. I think I am over compensating right now. I am like doing everything immediately. I have way more patience than I normally do. You want a snack, you got it! You want this thing that I know you can do for yourself, sure thing! There is almost a load of laundry, I must do it right now and fold it and immediately put it away. Like things that I normally would leave till later have more of a urgency because I know if I leave it till later, it’ll still be there.  It will just add to the list of things that need to be done for the house to run as always. I’ve also been walking the dogs. Something that was husbands chore always. I wonder what my neighbors are thinking. Do they think he left me? We had a huge argument last weekend. I am sure it was heard outside if someone was there. Then I laugh at myself. I am such a drama queen.
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On the other hand I found myself coming down on the girl today a little bit and my husband would have checked me at that point, or tagged me out so I could calm down… But without him I just kept pressing until she finally was like “I am trying to just calm down mommy!” and then I had to check myself. And all this was over me changing the plans cause we had seen a movie and went out to lunch and I was like maybe we should do ice cream tomorrow when we all actually want it. She was upset because we deviated from the plan. And my son was happy cause he just wanted to get home to his video games. But on top of it she’s 7 and dealing with her father being away for the first time ever… So I really should have backed off. I just was tired and thought like I had taken them out all day already to a trampoline park, and a movie, and then lunch, why is she giving me a hard time about ice cream?? … But I am the adult and I should have stepped back. I apologized to her and we talked about it later. I put them to bed and took a long hot bath and relaxed. 3 1/2 more days…
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I was talking to a friend today and I was telling her how weird I felt with my husband being away and she said it’s weird for her when her husband is home. He works so much that they are use to him just not being there. And I thought, wow. Everyone’s family functions so differently. How does yours function?

Jewelry and me

I am not big on Jewelry. I have always liked small pieces and vintage or antique styles. I use to look at Erica Weiner all the time. Some of her pieces are really pretty. It’s worth taking a look!  https://ericaweiner.com/  My sister in law brought me to a place in the city called Cat Bird and I recommend taking a look at their pieces too. They are really pretty. I currently have my eye on this ID bracelet: https://www.catbirdnyc.com/short-id-bracelet.html
Short ID Bracelet image
For my jewelry I keep it light. I have a necklace. It says mama. It was my gift on mothers day after I had my second child. I have an engagement ring and a wedding band. We put 10 diamonds in my band when we hit our 10 year wedding anniversary. I have two earring holes in each ear.  In one ear I have an Iolite stone for Isabel (my daughter) and the other ear has a Sapphire stone for Samuel (my son). Then a small diamond in the other hole.
Acrostic Alphabet Studs
I have a ID bracelet that reads SIRJ. Sam, Isabel, Ray (husband) and Jess (me). Also, that’s the name of our company that we are working on building! I have an anklet that I just like, it’s just really thin and I love it. That is my jewelry. What does yours mean?

Jamaican cooking and Me

I have a friend I worked with for over 10 years when I worked at a Pizza Hut. They ended up closing our location because the 20 year lease was up and they wanted to triple the rent or something and it made no sense to keep us open because we were a restaurant that wasn’t in the red, but made little to no money. Everyone was there for so long that we were all at the top of the pay rates for our positions so we would often work a skeleton crew so we could stay in budget for the employee costs.  I learned a lot from this place and from the people I met there. I will forever miss it.
I developed some pretty great relationships while working there and one was with a Jamaican woman named Odette. Her nickname is Vivi and that’s actually where my daughters middle name came from. When I had my son I was out of work and Odette had just opened her very own Jamaican place about 40 minutes away from where I lived. Right past the palisades mall in New York. https://www.yelp.com/biz/tropical-delicacy-spring-valley  I highly recommend this place if you are in the area. The food is amazing! The people are amazing! Just go and eat!
Photo of Tropical Delicacy - Spring Valley, NY, United States. A classic oxtail and beer
 I use to bring my son with me and we would hang out all morning while she cooked. I would feed my son, put him down to nap and dive right in to whatever she needed. Wash dishes? Sure! Cut cabbage? Absolutely. She taught me a lot about how to cook Jamaican. When my son was 10 months old I ended up getting a job as an office manager so our time was cut down.
Then life happen and we just weren’t able to make it over there for a while. I needed Jamaican food though and even though I had helped in the kitchen I didn’t actually write down any recipes. Then I found this website https://cooklikeajamaican.com/new-recipe-brown-stew-chicken/. I have found lots of delicious recipes on this website and I really recommend trying a couple!
Now, since it’s the weekend, I think I need to make a trip to visit and old friend.
Photo of Tropical Delicacy - Spring Valley, NY, United States. Steamed fish wow!!!!

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you have a very nice day!
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What do you usually do to celebrate? Honestly, Valentines day was never a real big holiday to me. I mean, I love spending time with my family all the time. My husband and I go on lunch dates a lot now that we work in the same town. I never really looked forward to this one day to be super romantic or anything.  I tell everyone I love them all the time. I did pick up a couple cards though from Trader Joe’s. They have the best cards and they are only 99 cents! I ran over to CVS next door to my job and got a few cutesy things for the kids. I don’t like giving a lot of candy. I guess my mom never made a big deal about it so it just doesn’t seem like an actual big Holiday to me.
How do you and your family celebrate? Do you love valentines day? Do you have big plans?

Meatloaf Tuesday

Is that a thing? It was a snowy day here yesterday for the first time this year. The last snow we really had was in November! This winter has been really weird in the northeast. A lot of rain and not a lot of snow at all. Anyway, the kids had no school yesterday, my husband stayed home with them and then my job closed at 11:30 so I went home and made meatloaf.
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I don’t know why I have been craving meatloaf lately and then I got this email for a meatloaf muffin recipe and beef was on sale last week so there you go! This is the recipe I used: https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/meatloaf-muffins-58434
I liked it. My husband really liked it and my kids didn’t care for it at all. I thought it was a little to sweet between the ketchup and BBQ sauce.  I think I will keep looking for another meatloaf recipe. Anyone have one they love?

Going on a mini trip with one child.

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while and I just haven’t. It popped back up in my mind again with all the stuff surrounding my son and school so here’s something that we did that was great.
I have a husband, son and Daughter. Usually the boys tend to want to stay home and my daughter and I go out shopping. She also likes to help me clean, and cook and we’ll just hang in bed and read. When we go shopping we usually go to a couple stores and she likes to look around and push the cart. My son does not enjoy going to more than one store and even then, he’s on the look out for something for himself. My husband doesn’t really care. He’ll come shopping if we all go, or he can stay home and hang out.
A couple months ago my Son was invited to a birthday party and hour and a half away. This birthday boy is one of his friends from preschool. There are 3 of them and we try to get them together a couple times a year. After preschool we bought a house in Norwalk, one boys parents already lived in Stamford (where the preschool was) and the other boy ended up moving a few years ago to Jersey. Anyway, I said sure! We would go, rent a hotel room and go to the party and then hang out the next morning before heading home. Then my husband could have a daddy daughter day too.
We left on a Saturday morning. I was so anxious driving down there. Honestly, I think it was because we always travel as a unit. There are 4 of us and we travel in a 4 pack. I was on the highway and my chest was fluttering and I just felt so weird leaving the other half of my family. So anxious…  Is that weird??? It settled down some about a half hour in. We got down to the hotel and got lunch. We checked in and hung out for a little bit. Then we headed to the birthday party. Afterwards, we went out to the diner with the preschool crew and then back to the kid who lived there’s house for a couple hours. It was nice, the boys had a lot of fun.
We headed back to the hotel. My son and I went for a late swim and then went back to the room and did mad libs. We were cracking up. The next morning we went for an early swim and then had some breakfast before meeting up with his preschool friend for a few hours and then heading home…
We had a blast. I swear it made us closer and we even seem to argue way less. I think I am going to start planning at least a yearly mini trip with just my boy. It was so nice to focus all my attention on just him and relax.
Anyone else do mini trips with just one child? Do you enjoy them too? Where have you gone?
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