Category Archives: Children and Such

Mozart the Amazing Hiccup Puller – Son’s bedtime story

Once upon a time there was a boy. The boy had large round glasses and light brown curly hair, all the way down to his shoulders. The boy’s name was Mozart and he was a magician! There was a talent show at school and Mozart was set to perform his very first show.
Mozart was so excited and he practiced his tricks over and over and over again. Finally, it was the day of the show and he got ready to get on stage. He checked to make sure everything was perfect. His cape was pressed, his hat was tall and his magic wand was shined. Mozart stepped on Stage and everyone cheered.
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“Hello Everybody!!! ” Mozart screamed. “My name is Mozart and today I am putting on a magic show!” The crowed cheered. “My first act is Juggling… whoops!” Mozart started to juggle and lost track of the balls and they all landed on the floor. The crowed laughed. Mozart decided it was best to keep going. “My second act will be to make Harold the bear disappear!” Mozart said. The crowed cheered.
“First we put Harold in the box, and then we wave the wand and say the magic words… SHALAKAFLIMLAMDOO! And now we see that Harold has disappeared!”
Mozart open the box and smiled to the crowed who just laughed and laughed at him. Mozart didn’t need to look over to know that Harold was still sitting in the box. Mozart started to turn bright red with embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if he should keep going or not because nothing was working out right and every one was laughing at him.
Then he heard a hiccup. First it was tiny, but hen he heard another one, and another one, and another one! The hiccups got louder and louder. Mozart had an idea.
“For my final trick” Mozart Said, “I will make your hiccups disappear! Who is hiccuping? Can you please come up here?”
After some shuffling in the audience a little girl named Mary appeared on Stage. Mary was in 3rd grade and had long pigtails in her hair and freckles on her nose and cheeks. Mary was nervous to be on stage but Mozart promised her he would make her hiccups disappear.
“Mary, please take a deep, deep breath and hold it. Then when I say okay open your mouth and exhale till I say stop.” Mary took the deepest breath ever and held it as she watch Mozart.
Mozart waved his wand once, twice and then nodded at her to open her mouth. Mozart pinched the air in front of Mary’s mouth and told her to exhale. As she exhaled Mozart pulled and pulled and pulled and finally, when Mary felt like she had no more breath to exhale, “Stop!” Mozart Screamed.
Mozart took her hiccups and threw them in his hat. Then Mozart placed the hat back on top of his head and everyone sat in silence waiting and watching.
After 30 seconds Mary said “They’re all gone!” And crowd cheered and clapped as Mozart and Mary took a bow!
And that is how Mozart became the Amazing Magic Hiccup Puller.
The end.
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The Boogie Man

The other night I was sitting with my 7 year old daughter making friendship bracelets.Related image
My daughter was telling me at school how they tell each other scary stories and she said “Mama, what’s the boogie man?
And I said “Oh, baby… The boogie man isn’t a real thing.”
She said “I know but like what is he?”
And I said “okay, so picture the thing you’re most scared of, and then it’s in your closet or under you bed.  That’s the boogie man. Your biggest fear pretty much. Or that’s what I imagined it was when I was growing up”
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Then she got a little quiet. And I thought. Wow, I just parent failed so hard. How do I fix this? So I tried to back track.  I tried to get her to talk about what she was thinking about and she just said “can I sleep with you tonight?”
And I was like I’m mother fucking mom of the year for this one. Total failure. And I should have seen this a mile away.
Today I found out she pictured momo. Or whatever that creepy thing that’s been going around the internet and I understood why she got quiet and scared… I talked to her more about it and she understands that the Boogie man is not a real thing. What would your answer be to a 7 year old?
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Happy Friday! I love me some Friday’s. And I love weekends that are unplanned and that is exactly what I have coming up this weekend. There is some house cleaning and some yard clean up, as long as it’s nice out. Besides that, nothing.
I love when we get these rare, completely unscheduled, at home weekends. We haven’t visited my In Laws in a while. Maybe we will take a trip down to see them if we want to get out of the house.
What are you all up to this weekend?

Some Mornings…

You ever have those mornings were you show up at work and you’re like how did I even get here? Do my clothes match? Did I rinse the conditioner out of my hair? Did I put mascara on?
This morning was something. I am at work, sure. I made it on time. The kids are dressed. I remembered hat day at school. I think I am put together okay. I don’t even remember looking in the mirror today! I think I did my makeup okay. I trust that my husband didn’t let me walk out of the house completely miss matched. I have my water and my apple, so there’s that.
I took my Vitamins on an empty stomach and chugged ice water and coffee  and ran out the door… and then threw up in the driveway while we were getting in the car to go to school and work. I really should take those things at night. The Vitamin D pills make me so nauseous sometimes. The I had to run back in the house to brush my teeth again and get water to clean the driveway. Then we talked in the car about me taking Vitamins and if they are bad for you. I usually go over the day with the kids so we’re all the same page about the day, when I’m picking them up and what they might want for dinner… Not today. So I think we’re having spaghetti.. I have no idea. The point is, some mornings are just like this I guess! Also, I hope I remembered to put deodorant on.