Roses are red violets are blue, I think we were meant to be high school sweethearts but now you’re gone and I miss you.
It’s been 2years since I’ve learned of your passing and honestly it effects me more today then it did when I first found out and I don’t know why. Maybe because I always thought that even if we lost contact god would bring us back together someday, you know like in those shity romance movies?? I’m so sorry I didn’t come to your funeral I didn’t know, no one had the decency to tell me smh. I found out through a girl we went to school with, she was telling me how a teacher had added her on Facebook, you know the one that literally laughed and sung about everything??….yeah her. Apparently you and her were friends until you passed away. At the time I wasn’t hurt or sad just shocked because yeah the school we attended at the time was combined with a hospital but you nor I were a sick patient we were sent there to recover from surgery and the last time I seen you. You were walking to school looking as healthy as the day you got discharged from the hospital. I have an idea well more like an assumption of what happened to you but refuse to ask what really happened. Some things are better left unknown. Sometimes I get mad at myself for not asking you out or wonder why didn’t you asked me but then other times I’m happy because I know we would’ve been together until your dying days and loosing you would be sooo much harder.
I guess what makes it so hard is not knowing if we were truly meant to be….
Going through this thing that we call life is stressful as fuck. There are so many variables that you have to take into account. I say variables because at any given time you can enter any situation and it will fit in seamlessly. The real mystery is how to get over/through the situation in such a manner that you learn from it and are in a positive state of mind.
I am 33 years old. Some may say that I am 33 years young. I am the youngest person in my office. But I am amongst the oldest of my friends. Total mind fuck. In some instances, I should have a ton of energy but in most, I am tired all of the time. LOL! The only thing I can do is laugh and keep moving forward.
I live with my girlfriend and her 2 children. Then on alternating weekends I get to see my daughter for a day and a half. Having a blended family is tough. Do I stick to my roots and become this disciplinarian that I know that I am? Or do I conform to the rules that were set before I was in the picture? Some may say compromise, but that in itself is extremely tough. Getting someone else to understand your viewpoint is easy. Getting someone to understand your viewpoint and accept and adapt is tough. And that cuts both ways, because I’m sure my partner feels the same. We moved in to an apartment after being together for a little more than a year together. Should we have waited? Was this the right thing to do?
I am also a full-time college student, studying Computer Science (No I will not take the virus’ out of your computer). I changed my major to that from Cybersecurity. I like Cybersecurity but I like to code more. This major is more code intensive and is a good foundation for where I would like to take my career. The long layoff that I have had between my time in school, (about 12 years) didn’t help me. I failed 2 courses and was really close to getting an automatic withdrawal. Things have since steadied and I am well ahead of the pace to finish my courses this semester. Can I reach my goals? Can I pass the 2 courses that I previously failed?
Everyone knows the saying, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. What happens when life hands you onions? Or better yet, what happens when life hands you shit? These the types of data that your life’s variables are going to be filled with. We are programed to accept any type of data into these variables. We cannot say “No thanks I don’t want to get this traffic ticket today” or “Please throw a baseball at my head”. I think if we had a choice the world would be more fucked up than it is now. So, the best thing is for you to do is say “Ok this happened, now what’s the best way to get through this for my family and I?” There will be times where life will be so overwhelming that you need to lash out emotionally. THAT’S OK!!! Just remember that when you’re done, it already happened. You cannot press rewind and do it again. Learn from it. Live with it. Accept life as it is. I know I have and it has made my relationship better. It has made my time management for school a lot better. I feel better a lot more than usual and I think that’s all that matters.