Category Archives: Uncategorized

My First book Review Review

January 31, 2019Uncategorized#review, #writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribesambel203

This is my first review:

” This is not a story I would put out to the world, but it’s your choice. It is reasonably well written though.

There is no such thing as Karma. It is actually God’s law of sewing and reaping. As ye sew so shall ye reap. If you sew the wind you will reap the whirlwind. Also, Christians aren’t allowed to hate. Those who are unwilling to forgive others will not be forgiven.

These stories are quite interesting. Not really my genre but I sure hope it does well for you. I still would give a great deal of thought as to publishing the fist story about your brother. Maybe change it to simply say that he molested you. I believe that would be better received.”

From a man on Facebook who asked me to email him a copy of my book so he didn’t have to buy it. I thought, Sure, why not! And there it is.

Image result for book review

This is my review of this review:

I really need to find my audience. I do not think this man is anywhere near it. I wrote about a lot of the messed up stories that happen in my life as a way to get it out. Maybe someone else is going through the same thing, or went through the same thing, and now they’ll know they aren’t alone. I have gone back and forth about publishing the first chapter in this book. I have put stuff up only to take it down the next morning. I have post it on Facebook and then deleted it because I was scared what people would think of me. Or that people would judge me. I deleted my Facebook because I wanted to grow my own audience and not rely on people I knew in high school who I haven’t heard from in over 15 years. I put Chapter 1 in this book because I wanted to. It was something that followed me a lot in my life and definitely impacted me in a lot of ways. So it should be in this book. I think. No wait. Yes, it should be.

And my tweets:

My reasonably well written life stories. I might change my description. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J486XGH

I’m not bitter. I’m really fucking bitter. #amwriting #readingcommunity #writercommunity

That is my review of my first review. I am not for everyone and that is okay.

9 and mental and emotional health

January 30, 2019Uncategorized#mentalhealth #kidsmentalhealth, #writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribesambel203

My son is having a hard time at school. In 2nd grade he was bullied by this little girl. In 3rd grade he was bullied by this little boy. Now in 4th grade he has to deal with mean girls and a mean teacher. We have been in contact with his teacher and the Vice principle. He kept telling us that the teacher was being mean to him and I found myself kind of siding with the teacher, like I am sure she was a little snarky because she has a class of 20 9 year old kids and she probably has to repeat herself one million times and I know I get angry after the 3rd reminder… Then I am thinking that, this is her job. She’s a 4th grade teacher and really she should have a little more patience. We waited for the conference.

We go to the parent teacher conference in December and I am expecting her to be like “Oh, no, I don’t yell. I redirect.” Something like that. But no. The teacher flat out told me that she prefers the girls to the boys because they are nice and gentle and the boys at this age basically bounce off each other. She also admits that she does yell at the boys but it’s not just my son, it’s all of them… Hence, the vice principle being involved now. My son would be miserable every morning because he didn’t want to go to school. We have been working through it. It’s been a little over a month and my son seems to be better going to school. We’re trying to ask about the positive things that happen through out the day and then if anything happen that mad him feel upset and slowly it seems to be less and less… Or he’s just not telling us anymore.

On top of this, a few weeks ago I got a call from the social worker. Apparently while all this other stuff was going on, some little bitch in art class told my son that the world would be better off without him and he agreed and said maybe he wouldn’t be in school the next day. So the social worker was called in to do a risk assessment. He was fine but she wanted to let me know what happen. I thought maybe it was the video games or something and he didn’t really mean it.

When I picked him up that day he said he actually did mean it. He was feeling so sad with everyone being mean to him that he felt like he didn’t want to be there any more. That broke my heart. We had a huge heart to heart and we immediately called to get on a list to bring him to speak to a therapist. We go today. I am really nervous but I really hope they can teach all of us better tools with how to deal with this. It’s crazy how mean kids are and it doesn’t help when the teacher sucks too. So we will see. Wish us luck please.

Pillows and covers

January 29, 2019Uncategorized#writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribesambel203

It’s cold outside which always makes it a bit harder for me to get up in the morning. It’s also Tuesday.

I was cuddling in my pillows this morning just thinking, How many pillows is too many? I mean I need one sheet but like 6 pillows to surround me and sort of create my own little cocoon. My husband is fine with one pillow but needs a sheet, cover and comforter. I like my feet sticking out and to have the room crispy and cold so I can snuggle in my little den. My husband does agree on the temperature so I guess that’s how we can live in the same space.

Image result for beautiful bed with lots of pillows and covers

What’s your preference? Pillows? Covers? Socks? Feet sticking out? Head covered?

Monday confession

January 28, 2019Uncategorized#writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribesambel203

I am terrible with remembering dates. Which is funny because a majority of my job is working with numbers and I really like math… Just don’t ask me the date of anything that happen. I have worked in how to remember big days like the day I was married (do not ask how many years… more than 10. That’s what I can tell you) and my kids birthdays in to every day things I do. So I can always remember them. My email address includes the year I was married. My first born birthday is all multiples of 3. My second born is the first born same numbers but just switched around. My husbands birthday is literally the same number for the month and day and his year is the same year that I was born. If your birthday is not on my phone calendar, I will never know it. I am terrible.

What are you terrible at remembering?

My blogging Experience so far

January 25, 2019Uncategorized#blog #friendship #bloggerstribe #amwriting #writingcommunity, #writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribesambel203

I have had this blog for over 3 years ( I think) but I didn’t actually start to get serious about it until this past November. I wanted to really give my dream of being an author a go. I am also thinking about going back to school to finally get my bachelors. My kids are now 9 and 7 but like most young couples, we had money issues and we had two babies. My goals for finding a job at that time was to find something I didn’t mind going to, that was close to the kids, that would pay me a decent wage, and that would allow me to have time off for vacations and such. That’s what I have found. I feel really lucky to have found exactly what I needed. I do like my job and I do like most of the people I work with but it’s not what I want to do forever.

I would love it if I could make enough money on the side to cut my hours at work and be able to pick my kids up from school and have time to really give writing a go. So I challenged myself last year. I wrote a couple memoir’s with things that have happened in my life. I wrote a couple books with the kids that we still need to illustrate. One is available for sale on Amazon but it’s not quite finished yet. It needs pictures. I’ll add the links to the other books at the end of this. So if you are reading this and would like to support me I would really appreciate it.

After I got the books up on KDP, my husband recommended that I start a twitter account to try to find a group of people. I did, and the groups I joined have been incredibly supportive. The #writerscommunity #amwriting #bloggertribe are just a few of the super supportive groups that are available. A lot of the people have been inspiring and encouraging and wonderful. I love twitter. There are a few that follow you and then unfollow you once you follow back and that a little frustrating because that’s not really what I think the community is about. Overall, it’s been a really positive experience. If you want to follow me I’m @sambel08 , And I will follow you back.

I started a new Facebook page at the advice I had received to a previous blog post and started to join some groups. I am currently working on growing that. I just started a pintrest and an Instagram, I an not sure how those work yet, so any advice would be appreciated and if there’s a way to follow or pin each other, drop me a link in the comments and I will!

I deleted my personal Facebook after my father passed away and I am really trying to do this without using my “warm” market as the insurance sales people refer to it… I am NOT an insurance sales person but my husband was for a few months. I honestly don’t want to use my friends and family to sell things. If I am totally honest it is because a lot of the things I have written are the tough times that I have gone through and not everyone I know, knows it. Or they might remember that time and then that’s weird too, no? I don’t know… Maybe eventually I will reactivate my Facebook but there were friends from high school that I have never heard from again and I don’t know… Plus, family that I barely talk to. Anyway, I’ll revisit that in the future, maybe.

So far it seems to be going well. I have kept up my challenge of posting something new on the blog every day that I go to work. And I have grown my blog following from 1 to 39! That’s amazing. (by the way, follow me please! and drop me a link to your blog and I will follow you too!) And I just hit over 1000 followers on twitter. So that’s really encouraging.

I did actually sell one book too. Of course it’s the one that still needs to be illustrated. Then the librarian at school told me it was her and I was so embarrassed for some reason. I think that I will always feel that way if someone comes up to my face and is like “Hey, I bought your book!” My initial reaction is “I’m sorry!” Weird, right? Hopefully that will change as time goes by and I gain more confidence. We’ll see…

So I will continue to blog for the rest of this year and I am hoping that it sparks an idea for my next book… I journal write on evernote everyday as well. I am already rolling a couple ideas around. I feel like I am just going to pour everything I have into it this time and really try. Before I have written things and then mailed them off and never heard from anyone and then I would get side tracked and 2 years later I would be like let me try again. This time I am going to keep trying.

So, what’s your experience? How long have you been doing this? Have you found things that work?

And if you would like to help support me, please buy a book and give me a review.. Or you can email directly at Jess@sirjstudio.com

Growing: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J486XGH

Kissing all the Frogs: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L1HPVX5

Working my Way through life: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K72DRZD

And my daughter unfinished book:

Growing in Color a caterpillar story: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HZQF5D7

You can also help by subscribing and liking and commenting below! There is plenty more to come and I look forward to making lots of new friends!

Friends lists

January 23, 2019Uncategorizedsambel203

So my daughter (Bel) came home from school super upset last week cause this girl who’s a known bully but is friends with a lot of Bel’s friends (so Bel tries to keep it friendly) has decided to move on to a new way to make people feel bad. She went from making clubs and telling people they aren’t In the club anymore to making lists and crossing people off as she sees fit.

Is it possible to hate a 7 year old?

I told my daughter to ignore the girl and be friends with who she wants. Even as I say that I know how much easier it is to say it then it is to do it. Especially when you are seven.

Anyone have any good advice to give a 7 year old when her friends are being mean?

Book Club

January 22, 2019Uncategorizedsambel203

About a year and a half ago I decided that I really missed my friends. I mean, we get together but it’s usually with the kids and we hang for a couple hours and then that’s it. So I organized a book club. I asked my friends that enjoy reading if they would like to join and most of them said sure. It started with 6 of us and only 3 of us really read the books we picked for the first 2 months. I held it at my house and everyone brought their kids and they all play in the family room or the back yard. Everyone brought a dish and a bottle of wine, or a couple beers and we sat and ate and talked about the book for 30 minutes or so and then talked about life for another 2 hours. Then we picked another book and made another date. Now everyone is reading the books, and we picked up a couple more people on the way. Also, we now go to brunch without the kids because honestly, my house was a disaster after everyone left and my husband would be annoyed because we would have to clean. So brunch has been better because we go out for a couple hours and then we pick a book and a date and a place and meet again in a month. I look forward to these brunch dates and so does everyone else!

Book Club has been great. I love all those girls so much and it’s really nice to just get together and talk. I really do recommend starting one with your friends if you like to read!

Mental Health and me right now

January 18, 2019Uncategorizedsambel203

Lately I have been feeling not the greatest. This was the first holiday without my Dad. My mom isn’t doing so great but she also isn’t ready to leave the house up there. She’s hoping her oldest son can buy it somehow. Even though he doesn’t have a job. I guess they are saying that his wife’s mom will co sign with them. So I guess she’s hoping for the possibility that they will just take it over and she can leave. She’s stressed though and she calls me when she’s angry and she has a few to many beers and vents. I listen cause I really do love her and I really don’t want to push her to so something she’s not ready for. I feel like it’s taking a toll on me though. Then I get mad at myself.

I’ll give you a quick over view. My oldest brother molested me and my sister when we were younger. It took me 20 years to say anything to my parents and when I did, it didn’t matter… I wrote about it in my book on amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J486XGH Among other things that happen in my life… Anyway, Once I told my parents about my oldest brother who lives in the other half of their house, he threatened my family. If we ever came up there he would come after us. So I told my parents that. Their answer was to come down (we live 3.5 hours away) and visit us twice a year. Once during the summer when I throw a family picnic and then for Thanksgiving. For the past few years my father would ask us why we never came to visit them anymore and I would remind him that the people that live in the other half of their house threatened us… They would act confused, like the completely forgot and then they would go home until the next time they visited.

So whenever my mom used to complain about my oldest brother I would tell her I didn’t want to hear it. Now with my father being gone, I feel like I need to be there for her to have someone to vent to. Honestly, it feels like I am not important to her at all. Then I wonder why I even want her to come down and live by us? Like what is wrong with me?

So the holiday’s happen and I just wasn’t feeling happy. I told my husband that I think it’s time I really find someone to talk to and he said that he would help me.

I have a super supportive husband, we have 2 amazing children, 2 chunky pit bulls and a turtle. We worked our way up and bought our first house together almost 5 years ago. We are both still motivated and we motivate each other to continue to grow. We love each other still, more and more every day. My sister lives not far from us with her daughter and we have dinners at least once a week, we celebrate all our holidays and birthdays together. We help each other out. Plus, my husbands family is super supportive and not far away either so we spend a lot of time with them also. I mean we really built a great family life together. Plus, we have a great group of friends. In that sense I am beyond happy, blessed and grateful.

My husband has called all over town and the surrounding towns and every single psychiatrist that is in network with our insurance has a wait list or isn’t accepting new patients. So I am on a wait list for at least 6 weeks. It’s just really crazy. I can’t believe the lack of mental health support there is. Is this how it is all over? It’s so wrong. This happen to me a couple years ago too and the same thing happen and I ended up giving up and carrying on but this time I really feel like I need to talk to someone. So I wait, I guess.

I’m okay for now but hopefully I will get a call soon.

Crazy hair day

January 17, 2019Uncategorizedsambel203

Yesterday was crazy hair day at school. I don’t know why the school does this to the parents. Pajama day is so much easier. Crazy hair day in my house means that we have to google lots of crazy hair ideas the night before and then scroll through all the images until we can agree on something that is manageable in 15 minutes or less. My son does not take part in this, be prefers to wing it in the morning.

My daughter decided on a spider style complete with 8 legs / braids. Then we had to search her room for the bun hair thingy.

Once I brushed her hair I put it in a high ponytail and put the bun sponge whatever it is in. I spread her hair around it and secured it with another hair tie. Then I went to work braiding 8 arms. It was more time consuming than I imagined. This is the finished product:

Then we made eyeballs and stuck them on the front with a little tape.

My son decided that he wanted a Legos in his hair. So my husband spend the morning gluing Lego men to hair clips. This is what it looked like when finished:

Of course we got to school and my Daughter decided that she wasn’t actually sure she liked her hair… but she went anyway. All in all the kids hair came out pretty good. However, I am pretty sure I forgot to brush my hair, I am wearing two different color socks, and I forgot to finish my makeup… But I am dressed. And we all (barely) made it to school and work on time. So there’s that. I’m hoping the next school thing is hat day… That is so much easier!

*** These are not my children, I couldn’t upload the pictures I took of them so I googled the pictures I used when doing my kids hair.

Train Theory

January 16, 2019Uncategorizedsambel203

I guess It all started when I was younger. I use to hang out at the train station and smoke cigarettes and write for hours. Sometimes my friends and I would go hang out there. We were so dumb. One time my friend and I tried to stand as close as possible to the platform ledge when a train went by. I look back on it now like we were so stupid. We could have died or been seriously hurt. And that was only one incident.

As we got older we would go and walk down the tracks to the bridge and sit underneath it while the trains went over. One time we had a bunch to drink and we stood on the tracks while a train was coming to see who would stay on the longest. I won but again, what the fuck was I thinking??

I wasn’t around trains for a long time until we moved to Stamford and I had to cross the tracks everyday. No joke, almost every day, no matter what time I left my house, I would get stuck at the train tracks. Then we moved to Norwalk and I very rarely cross tracks but when I do, you can bet I get stuck at the train stop 8 times out of 10. It’s actually a joke between my husband and me.

With all this time sitting at the train tracks I have decided that this will probably be how I will die. I will be sitting in a park in the middle of no where and a train will fly off a track and land directly on me. And that will be my life.

It’s just a theory but seriously, why a train?

Image result for riverside CT train station

Moving forward

Blogging my journey