9 and mental and emotional health

My son is having a hard time at school. In 2nd grade he was bullied by this little girl. In 3rd grade he was bullied by this little boy. Now in 4th grade he has to deal with mean girls and a mean teacher. We have been in contact with his teacher and the Vice principle. He kept telling us that the teacher was being mean to him and I found myself kind of siding with the teacher, like I am sure she was a little snarky because she has a class of 20 9 year old kids and she probably has to repeat herself one million times and I know I get angry after the 3rd reminder… Then I am thinking that, this is her job. She’s a 4th grade teacher and really she should have a little more patience. We waited for the conference.
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We go to the parent teacher conference in December and I am expecting her to be like “Oh, no, I don’t yell. I redirect.” Something like that. But no. The teacher flat out told me that she prefers the girls to the boys because they are nice and gentle and the boys at this age basically bounce off each other. She also admits that she does yell at the boys but it’s not just my son, it’s all of them… Hence, the vice principle being involved now. My son would be miserable every morning because he didn’t want to go to school. We have been working through it. It’s been a little over a month and my son seems to be better going to school. We’re trying to ask about the positive things that happen through out the day and then if anything happen that mad him feel upset and slowly it seems to be less and less… Or he’s just not telling us anymore.
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On top of this, a few weeks ago I got a call from the social worker. Apparently while all this other stuff was going on, some little bitch in art class told my son that the world would be better off without him and he agreed and said maybe he wouldn’t be in school the next day. So the social worker was called in to do a risk assessment. He was fine but she wanted to let me know what happen. I thought maybe it was the video games or something and he didn’t really mean it.
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When I picked him up that day he said he actually did mean it. He was feeling so sad with everyone being mean to him that he felt like he didn’t want to be there any more. That broke my heart. We had a huge heart to heart and we immediately called to get on a list to bring him to speak to a therapist. We go today. I am really nervous but I really hope they can teach all of us better tools with how to deal with this.  It’s crazy how mean kids are and it doesn’t help when the teacher sucks too. So we will see. Wish us luck please.
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12 thoughts on “9 and mental and emotional health

  1. Good luck, I know when I was growing up being bullied and picked on everyday by kids and teachers I wanted to give up I would have to be dragged out of bed most mornings and put on the bus then I would go sit in the corner where my teacher placed my desk away from the rest of the kids. only to be ridiculed more and more at recess and lunch or any chance really the other kids got to make fun of my weight or my clothes.

    I would have loved having someone to talk to my dad left my brother and sisters were in their own world and my mom was working multiple jobs to keep us fed and in clothes. It was terrifying everyday. I know it is hard and I don’t wish it on anyone, In fact it is the reason I do what I do now. I never want a child or adult to ever feel that level of fear and loneliness that I suffered through.

    I pray that the bullying ceases and that the therapist helps. Keep supporting him and lifting him up. He can get stronger from this, I know I did. Remind him of how good he is and highlight the things he does well. Try not to focus on the other kids they will always be there shouting nonsense. Focus on him and his personal development, You may already be doing this. But just some advice from a man that was once the target of some horrific bullying as a child. Good luck.

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  2. All the best for today xx…Kids are mean…but to have a teacher be mean is just so wrong..they are there to teach our kids not single out the boys to the girls…I was bullied at school. Started in grade 3…the teacher was the one doing it and then the other kids followed her lead. I was tall when i was young…my height now is 5ft 6…i was that in grade 3 aged 8-9…so I didn’t fit in the seat she put me in. My legs would hang out of the desk….it was one of those all in one desks. The teacher Miss Gorman made me sit in a desk and chair that was for little kids. She would hit my legs as she went past with a ruler. I would have severe anxiety and i would sweat.. So when we did sewing, of course my work was all sweaty and she would make an example of me by saying I was filthy and should be in the rubbish. She made me stand in the rubbish for the rest of the day. And encourage the kids to laugh at me and put their rubbish around me. I finally told my mum…didnt for ages but the rubbish bin incident was it for me. My mum went straight to the principal. After this the teacher was no longer there. Some say my mum got her fired. I hope so. My few friends stayed by my side, she would make fun of them also. Saying things like how can you be a friend to a dirty smelly girl. I had a lot of time off school. The next year my grade 4 teacher was amazing. He went on sick leave and some of the nasty kids made fun of me and said Miss Gorman was coming back. At age 9 I was having severe anxiety with awful palpitations. She didn’t and the relief teacher was so lovely. My grade 1 and 2 teachers were lovely 4,5 6 and 7 also were lovely. Restored my faith in my teachers….sorry to go on for so long…

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  3. This breaks my heart to even read! I know that kids are super mean, I know that life is tough and they have to deal with difficult situations – but why is this so socially accepted. Why is it okay for a child to tell another child they shouldn’t even come to school the next day! It just makes me sick! I commend you for being a parent who is present and aware. Your child is so lucky to have a parent like you. Keep on being there for him, affirm him and the worth that he brings into your life. best of luck to the both of you! you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  4. That was really a tough situation.. Bullying is really unacceptable. Wish these things will not exist eventually. Lots of prayers for you and your family.

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  5. I know how hard it is for you and with your kid. My daughter was bullied when I transferred her into the big school for her first grade and when I saw her crying because of that it’s really broke my heart. Immediately, I’ve talked to her teacher and told her what happened to my child and I am glad when she said to me that she already talked to the that student and that kid promised to her that he will never do it, again. On the following day, I am so relieved when I picked her up because I saw my kid came to me with a smile. I know you and your kid will be better soon and I am wishing you luck everyday!

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  6. I myself is a victim of bullying from gradeschool to highschool, I dont have much good memories 😦 Good thing that our house is full of Love & Happiness, that’s why I dont bother with my classmate’s hate nor their sillyness. Looking back, these experience makes me stronger! I’m already 36 and I appreciate what my mother has always taught me. Continue what you are doing right now, you are doing a good job by supporting your child. for sure he’ll grow a fine man.

    much love
    Rhea

    Liked by 1 person

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