All posts by sambel203

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About sambel203

I am a Wife, Mother, daughter, Aunt and loyal friend. I have always dreamed of being an Author. I wrote a couple short books. 4 are mine, 1 is a story my daughter made up and another one I am about to publish is a story my son made up and illustrated. I am currently working on my next book. Check them out in the links. I am blogging because I love writing and it helps keep me sane. I have challenged myself to write one blog every day I have to work for a year. If you follow my blog, I will follow yours! Thank you for taking the time to check out my stuff. Feel free to send me an email if there is something you would like me to write about. J.acosta08@yahoo.com

Pay for reviews?

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I wrote a couple things,
a book called “Growing” https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J486XGH  . It’s a short book full of short stories of a few moments in my life that really impacted me.
and a book called “Working my way through life” https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K72DRZD  Which is about some of the jobs I have held and how they lead me to the next job.
I have one other that I am working on and will hopefully have that up by the end of this year.
I want to promote them and it’s kind of hard when you have 2 children and a full time job. I thought maybe I should try to get a couple reviews from people I don’t know so that I can maybe sell a couple digital books. I googled indie book reviewers an wrote to a couple places, included my links and was hoping for anything I guess. Today I got an email that simply says “hi Jessica! We are a paid service. Thank you.”
I guess it’s nice that they wrote back but really? That’s bullshit.
Anyone have any good experiences or advice on getting a few reviews?
 I don’t really want to have anyone I know review it. I feel like that’s cheating. I do not want to pay someone to read it either. I feel like that’s a lie also. Is that really what people do?

Party favor dilemma

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My daughters 7th birthday party is coming up. I am super excited about this party. We rented the small ice skating rink and she can invite 20 kids (she invited 25 because no one RSVP’s for some reason and it drives me insane) and parents get to skate too for free (bonus!). My issue now is party favors.
I HATE wasting money and nothing makes me feel like I am wasting money more than spending $100 at party city on bouncy balls, penny candy and mini slime buckets… I am trying to be more clever this year. At my sons birthday party in June I gave out actual toys because toys r us ( I miss that store so much!) was going out of business and I got a ton of the mystery bags for less than $1.00 each. Unfortunately, I don’t have that option anymore.
So I am trying to think of some ideas… Nips and lotto tickets are not appropriate, correct? I’m kidding. Unless I make adult party favor bags. Which isn’t a bad Idea. Maybe I should start a side business…
Back to Bel’s party.
Right now  these are the options I am going to tell my daughter about later. Hopefully, she’ll go for one :
1.) I am thinking about going to Michaels and getting some of those mini craft kits for a couple dollars. Then just giving one to each child.
2.) Going to Walmart and getting 30 mystery bags… This might be more expensive than the party bags I am trying not to make.
3.) suck it up and make the damn party bags with $100.00 in bouncy balls, glittery slime, pencils and erasers.
4.) a book.
5.) a notepad and pen
6.) making something? (that was a suggestion from the Starbucks drive thru guy who got to hear all about my failed trip to 5 Below and Party city.)
Are these lame? I feel like these are pretty lame. Anyone have any good ideas? I have 1 and a half weeks to go.

CBD and ME!

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My experience with cbd
I read a couple articles about cbd and the benefits of taking it. I had been dealing with some anxiety and I wanted to smoke pot and just chill so I could relax and get a good night sleep. Or even just slow down on the weekends and not be rushing to get 400 things done. I have nothing against smoking pot, in high school I used to love it! What I didn’t love is the fact that it’s illegal and no matter how common it was, if you get caught it could be really expensive. So I switched to drinking with my friends back then and lost all my connections as I got older. Then I got new jobs and got a husband and had a couple kids.
I usually have a couple glasses of wine to unwind after a hectic day or week but I noticed that I am starting to gain a little weight so I decided to cut some things out of my diet and alcohol was one of them. Some nights you just need a couple glasses or a bottle to relax though!
One of my friends mentioned that she smokes once in a while again and even offered me a bit. I took it but I was scared to smoke again, honestly.
I was worried that even though I have never been drug tested before at my current job, there might be that one chance it could happen. That would be my luck. I don’t need to worry about something else so it wasn’t worth it to me.
Then I read an article about cbd and I thought that this might be perfect! It seemed to help with everything I was feeling. Anxiety, aches and pains (cause I’m getting older!) it helps keep you calmer (cause 9 and 7 year old and yelling and bickering and omg calm, please) and some capsules have turmeric to help with inflammation. And it will not cause a positive drug test because it doesn’t contain THC (according to things I have read). You don’t get high.  I mean is there anything this stuff can’t do?? So yes, sign me up please!
I started with Sagely naturals. I had read an article on popsugar that recommended this product. I picked Sagely because it was capsules and not oil so I wouldn’t have to worry about the dose. It was slightly expensive in my opinion but I figured I would give it a shot. The capsules were $50 for a bottle of 30 and I used a 10% off promo code  for signing up for email. My husband and I split the first bottle. We actually noticed quite a difference pretty fast.
 My husband no longer needed Motrin for his neck pain and I was not feeling my shoulder pain as much  anymore. We started weight lifting in our garage and I truly believe that the cbd helped us not feel as sore as we should have. That one bottle turned into 2 and then 6. Then we tried the cbd cream and that shit is amazing!   Then we had to stop because it was getting to be a little expensive. $200 for a month of cbd for the two of us is a lot for me.  That’s part of my issue with sagely. We reached out and asked them if there was a subscription box that they did so maybe we would get a small discount. There is not yet, they said. We would love to order from them again but they never have any sales (except for the once a year Black Friday sale) and even a small break once in a while would be nice. We decided to wait for a subscription box and there hasn’t been one yet.
Recently I read another couple articles and one brand mentioned was diamond cbd. It was Black Friday and they have a cbd meds biotech brand with turmeric, buy one get one free. So $100.00 for 2 months supply. We are going to try this one next and see what we think. Plus, I know diamond cbd runs promotions a few times a month so it should be easy to get another deal along the way should we decide we love the product.
I don’t dislike sagely products. I actually love them. I just wish there were a few specials once in a while. Especially for long term customers.
We’ll see how the new brand goes and I will keep you updated!
Does anyone have any experience with cbd? What’s your favorite brand?

3:00 AM

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Have you ever been driving down the road and just needed to scream? So loud you scare even yourself? I needed to do that the other day. Then I needed to scream again to see if that noise actually came from me.  I almost wanted to open the window to see if anyone could even hear me… There have been times that this has happened in my life, usually at really stressful times. Sometimes I am driving and I think that maybe I could just wreck and that would be it. But that’s not a guarantee and I would hate to hurt anyone else so the thought usually just goes away and it actually hasn’t come back for a while until lately. Lately I have been in a funk with the holiday’s and missing my dad and trying to act like everything is all good or normal or whatever. On top of that I haven’t been sleeping well. I guess throw that all together and the reality is I probably have always needed a therapist but I think now I actually need a therapist.
Ever since my father died I have been waking up at 3:00 AM every day. I’ve watched enough horror movies to know that is a terrible hour to wake up. Maybe that’s why I stay awake, or maybe cause it’s so quiet (minus the 2 dogs and a husband snoring) and whatever I think about sticks in my head, I am not sure. Maybe cause it’s been 4 months since my dad died and I just wish I could see my dad again in a dream, even if for a second, and he could just smile and let me know that he’s alright. I keep waking up and I have nothing. In fact, I am having terrible nightmares and I usually wake up and think What the fuck is wrong with my brain? I have had dreams that everyone I care about has died and it’s always some fucked up way and I wake up thinking I am a terrible person. Then it takes a good hour or two for me to pray to god to please protect everyone and for me to feel a little bit better so I can calm my head and go back to sleep. About a week ago I woke up and actually wanted to just hurt myself. I wanted to bleed and feel it. I have never felt like that before, not ever in my life that I can recall. It scared the shit out of me. I told myself that I wouldn’t get out of bed, I would just pray for protection and if I did get out of bed I would wake up my husband… I didn’t end up getting out of bed, I just curled in a ball and prayed myself back to sleep. I have not felt that need again but I do think it’s time to go talk to someone. Also, my husband said I should always wake him up when I feel like this but I don’t see the need to have 2 people lose sleep every night but I will if I really need to.
So that’s where I am at right now. I think it’s a combination of everything that has happen this year and I have to learn how to deal with it. I will keep this blog posted about finding someone to talk to and what works for me. I do know that I need to do this not just for me but for my family and the people I love. I told my husband I think I am ready to talk again and we are going to pull our insurance and find someone in network this week so I can make an appointment. I am terrible at finding doctors and then calling them and the last time I did try to look for someone the wait to even see them was like 3 months. That was a year ago I should have made the appointment then but I thought I would find someone else with an earlier appointment available and then I just gave up. I am going to try to not give up this time.

Self Publishing

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Books I have written and my experience.
I started to actually write this year about my life and experiences I have gone through. So far everything I have written is my true version of things. If you get a chance and want to read something fast, head on over and read please! Then feel free to leave a positive review!
My editor,  AKA my husband, is working on editing my next book called “Kissing all the Frogs’. It is about all my past loves and what happen and how I grew and eventually found my husband who is amazing. I will hopefully get that book published this evening once he’s finished. I have 2 other books I have published already.
“Growing” is my first book. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J486XGH . It’s a collection of a few parts of my life that really stand out and have helped shape me in one way or another.
“Working my way through life” is my second book.  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K72DRZD  . I realized that I have had a ton of jobs in my life and I wrote a book about it. I am currently working on my next steps in life, where I want to go and what I want to do. I am not afraid to start over I just have to figure out what direction I want to go. I am currently writing and writing to see where that goes.
I have another book I have written and I just have to read it again and then send it to my super hot editor. Hopefully I will have that up mid December and then I can start working on whatever is next for me.
I have 2 kids books that I am working on as well, one that my daughter wrote https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HZQF5D7 called “Growing in color”… It’s really short and it needs to be illustrated. I published this first just to see how the KDP publisher worked. I will go back and add the illustrations in the future.
Then I have a book my son and I wrote called “Mozart the magician”. He wants to redo his illustrations and then I will scan it in and upload it. That should be cool and hopefully I will have that up by the end of this year too.
I have not sold anything, and I don’t even think anyone has even looked at it  but I keep the hope alive that maybe one day it will happen!
In the future I hope to publish something that is more of a story and fiction and not just stories of experiences I have gone through but I am finally giving this writing thing that I have dreamed of a shot and I will keep trying. I have tried for years to get poetry published and books. I have sent things all over and I never heard anything back, not even a not interested. I get that they are busy and they probably have a million things coming in, it’s just discouraging. Then I read an article about how to make side money and it mentioned a link about publishing your own books and selling them in digital format on Amazon. I signed up and got to writing. Everything is free and you can download templates and upload your book! They have a way that you can format it to be a paperback and then they will publish it as it sells and just take it out of the cost, I haven’t got that far yet, but maybe one day when I have some time I will.
The website is https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US  You set up your own account and you can start publishing your own ebooks in 24 hours!
I will see where this road goes for a while and hopefully it was eventually be a side source and a new cash line for us… eventually. We’ll see!

Thanksgiving 2018

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It’s Wednesday. The Day before Thanksgiving. I am at work till 2:30 today. It’s nice to get out early. I am sad and anxious today. I think once my mom calls and says she’s on her way, I will start to get excited. I went to bed last night sad and thinking of my dad. I thought that maybe, just maybe I’ll finally have a dream with him in it. No such luck. Lately it’s just been terrible night mares or nothing at all.
I was laying in bed last night looking at my dresser mirror. We have lost a lot of people in the past year. First Ray’s Grandmother, then my childhood friend Drew,  then Ray’s 22 year old cousin then my friends father and just a few weeks later my father. 3 out of the 5 were totally unexpected and all of them hurt.  It was crazy and I am ready for 2018 to end now. I haven’t dealt with Death like this in my life ever and I would be happy if it will take a break for a while.
My friend and I decided to go to a medium to see if she could contact our Fathers. My friend wanted to see if there was anything else that her dad wanted to tell her and I wanted to hear that my dad was okay. We got none of that. If you do go to a medium I would suggest going alone or with people trying to contact the same person. It was confusing because she was saying things that could either apply to both our dads, or neither one of them. When she did reach my father it did not make me feel better. She said he was jumping all around and really confused still, he was confused and not ready. She said she should have told us to wait at least a year before trying to make contact because they need time to settle, especially when it was unexpected. For my friend the medium spent a lot of time saying who her dad was with and things he did when they were growing up and there was no message she hadn’t heard before she said. When we left both of us felt like it was a waste of money and we were both unsettled still. Over the next week or so some things the medium said did make a little bit more sense and I think I am going to take my sister back next year and try one more time. She did say a few things that I told to my mom that made her laugh like he watches football with her still and he found his wedding ring and he’s wearing it again.
Now it’s time for me to get over this feeling for a few days. I will think of happy things, and laugh with my husband, kids and family. I will be cook food for everyone I love and I will be thankful for my house full of love and laughter. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Tuesday, holiday and missing dad.

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Ah. Tuesday. It’s a full day but we had a full staff meeting this morning. It wasn’t terrible. It was kind of interesting to learn about the Community connections program. They do dinners and such so maybe if I really want to do the Thanksgiving or something like it I can talk to Lisa and see about providing food maybe once a month or something. I don’t know. We’ll see. It was interesting is all and something I think I should look into.
I am really sad today. Like really sad. I feel terrible in my chest and I am on the verge of tears all day so far. If I could have, I would have stayed in bed and cried once everyone got to where they needed to be this morning.
I am usually so excited about Thanksgiving and I am excited to see everyone but I am terribly sad that my dad will not be here. It’s like a hole in the day. Usually he’s there with his Trump hat, helping out and just having a good time, playing with his grand kids. No one speaks of politics, they just have fun and hang out.  Ugh. I am just missing him a lot. I wanted to write a really happy Thanksgiving blog and I am really just not happy today. I know I need to allow myself time to process this on my own and then I know I will be able to focus and pull it all together. So I am not being to hard on myself yet to suck it up and get to prepping… And I know that tomorrow I will be waiting and looking out the window anxiously anticipating my mom and super excited to see her. It’s the first Thanksgiving without him and I am allowing myself to grieve. I know it will be fun to have everyone over and eating and happy. I do miss him though and I know he will be missed by all of us.
My Dad was killed on his farm by a Bull back in July. He was gored while feeding the cows and he did not make it back to the house. My sister in law found him and by then it was to late. It was sudden and terrible. I was trying for years to get them to move back closer to my sister and me. The Sunday before he died I talked to my Dad about how many animals he had left and we were planning on a couple years before they would be ready to sell and move. I had moved the Annual summer party from June this year to the end of August so that everyone could make it. A lot of people did make it because that was the weekend we buried my Fathers ashes.
I think maybe after this holiday I will look into finding a therapist to see if that will help me learn better ways to process my emotions.

Getting ready for Thanksgiving

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It’s the Friday before thanksgiving and I am getting ready to host. I love Thanksgiving! It’s one of my favorite holidays (besides my birthday) because I love getting all my favorite people together and cooking them food. This will be our first Thanksgiving without my Dad so I am going to try not to drink to much and cry over jellied cranberry sauce. He and I were the only two people who really ever ate that stuff. He will be missed a lot.
Thanksgiving to me is the best holiday.
My mom and I cook all the sides and I blast oldies. My parents moved to upstate New York over 10 years ago and we used to split the holidays between my parents and Ray’s parents. After my husband and I started our own family it became a little harder to travel and then we bought our house so now we host Thanksgiving and a annual summer family party. The summer party is a blast and I will definitely write all about it as I gear up for that in July. Back to Thanksgiving…
This will be my 8th year hosting thanksgiving. We have about 15 people coming that I am aware of, we always end up with a couple more. I like to invite everyone and I can see that my daughter is inheriting that from me!
Every year I make a pretty standard thanksgiving and then I usually throw in a few sides I have been meaning to try. This year we will have Ray frying the turkey (20 lbs so everyone can take some home)  outside. I am going to pick it up today so we can defrost it and start the brine this weekend. I will be getting the ham (10-12 lbs so everyone can take some home) Monday.
For the ham I throw it in the crock pot with brown sugar all over it and cook it for 8 hours on low. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/80525/slow-cooker-ham/
My ham actually started out as a giant mistake one year but everyone raved about it so it has become a tradition now. Even my mom started cooking her ham in the crock pot. The best part is that frying the turkey and crock pot ham frees up the oven and stove for all the other sides.
I make pretty standard sides. Gravy that no one really eats, stove top stuffing that my mom usually adds onions and celery to, sweet potato with marshmallow on top, mashed potato because why not, a can of jelly cranberry sauce and a can of berry cranberry sauce,
monkey bread garlic biscuits (https://damndelicious.net/2014/11/08/mini-garlic-monkey-bread/ ), regular biscuits for the kids,
Rice in the rice cooker because I just start cooking everything in my pantry at this point,
And this year I will be adding beet salad ( https://www.thespruceeats.com/cold-beet-and-garlic-salad-1706135 ) and
My mother in law will be bringing plantains, pastelitos and Flan for dessert. We will also be making brownies with chocolate chips in them and probably the cookies I have in the pantry because I really always end up making everything in my house. I was thinking about picking up a couple pies too but I think I might skip that this year because no one ever eats the pie.
That’s pretty much my menu! I set everything up buffet style and let everyone pick whatever they want. My sister in law usually brings some kind of drink that she dreams up and she’s the bartender.
Last year she brought Garlic Vodka and I became obsessed. I always have a Jar now in my fridge. It’s super easy to make too. You put Garlic cloves ( a lot) and dill in a jar and then pour vodka over it and let it sit for at least a week. I take a couple shots of that and mix it with a spoon of honey,  1 lemon squeezed fresh and a shake of salt, it is delish. So I am super excited to see what she brings this year.
I also lay out crackers, sausage, honey and a couple of whatever looked interesting cheeses, grapes and whatever other fruit I have for people to pick on before the meal.
So this is my thanksgiving. I know it’s a lot of food but I love that everyone comes and eats and leaves stuffed and happy. I am always happy when more people show up too. If you know anyone in the Connecticut area with nothing do to on Thanksgiving, tell them to come on over to my house because everyone is invited.
One of my dreams is to have a lunch hall so I can cook and anyone who is hungry can come and eat and take home leftovers at no charge. One day I would like to make that happen.
Now I am getting super excited. I can’t wait to see everyone.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

New Direction… Again

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The last time I post on here was in 2016, I said that I was going to change it to a cooking blog and then I never post again. I do love to cook. But I think the way that my life is now, I am just going to keep it real and post whatever I am currently working on.

I was trying to think of what I really wanted to do with myself. The kids are getting older and I am starting to have some free time, not a lot but some. I have started to try to take better care of myself by watching what I eat and starting to work out again.

2018 was a tough year for me and I am ready for it to be over. I started it off with motivation to get my butt in shape and lose the baby weight which now is just I guess my normal weight because my baby daughter is about to be 7!  I worked out for 5 months. We added in weight lifting in the mornings 3 times a week and rowing or the elliptical for 15 minutes Monday through Friday. I signed up for weight watchers and tracked everything I ate and I lost absolutely nothing. I started at 183 pounds in January and in July I was still 183 pounds. People said, muscle is heavier than fat.. Great, I am not gaining 2 lbs of muscle every week.  It was so discouraging. Then my father died in a farm accident at the end of July. It was terrible and I can’t write much yet, I will in time. Anyway, I stopped working out and started drinking at night to help me sleep. It didn’t really help me sleep. In the beginning of October I woke up with so  much pain under my ribs. I seriously thought that I was dying. I was like my liver is a goner and this is totally my fault. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with Acid Reflux. Nothing serious thank go. That was my wake up call to get my act together. It’s not about me, it’s about my family and they need me. I have to pick myself up and get back on track.

My husband and I decided that it was time to tackle our eating habits. We both didn’t eat terrible, so we thought. We would eat pretty healthy all week and then we would eat whatever we wanted on the weekends. That was our problem. Eating whatever on the weekends and snacking. I hate throwing away food so the nights I said I wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t going to eat dinner, I would end up eating my kids left over dinners instead of throwing them away.  I would have dinner even though I wasn’t making myself dinner. That all adds up.

My acid reflux and his stomach hurting made us think that it was time to cut out everything from our diets for 3 weeks and then slowly add them back in to see what was causing the pain.  I read a lot about the elimination diet and that’s what we were going to try.

In the beginning of October we cut out dairy, eggs, alcohol, bread, caffeine… Basically everything except boneless skinless chicken breast, wild Salmon and Shrimp, rice, fruits and vegetables. Slowly we started losing weight. I was down 10 lbs after 3 weeks and my husband lost 15 pounds.

They say that you should add one thing back at a time and that’s how you know what is not agreeing with you. We added pizza back which is about 3 different things. Surprisingly, we didn’t have a terrible reaction to it. I do not recommend breaking an elimination diet with pizza though.  Then we slowly have been eating whatever we have been craving here and there just not as much as we use to, and we have still managed to keep the weight off. I even lost another pound. Next we are going to add back in working out and weight lifting again.

The thing that this whole diet made me realize is that even though I wasn’t eating bad, I was eating too much when I did eat. My portions were out of control. Then when the weekend rolls around, wine and pizza everyday is not good for you even though it’s delicious. Also, I now throw away the kids leftovers instead of eating them.

I started the diet thinking that I could never be one of those people that “eat to live” because so much of my life is spent around food. When my friends and I have book club it’s like who’s bringing what delicious thing to eat? When I go out with my husband or we have friends over we always figure out some special menu and we enjoy ourselves and eat good food and I really do not want to give that up at all. I am starting to realize that I do not have to give that up, I do have to check myself though with how much I am piling on my plate and keep track of the wine. I am getting better I think. I will keep trying to lose weight and keep updating on here.

I will try to keep this blog updated a few times a week . Besides the diet stuff I have been trying to figure out my next steps in life. I want to go back to school and get my bachelors so I am trying to figure out when, where and how. I’m sure I will post some things about that.

I have always dreamed to be an author. I read about this KDP publishing on Amazon where you can publish your own books and sell them in digital book format. I have published 3 so far. I haven’t sold any but I am starting to put my self out there. I have 2 more finished I just have to edit and publish. One day I’ll be a real author.

Those are my plans for now. Write soon.

My Cooking Blog

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Hi! So I have decided that since I love cooking so much, especially cooking new things, I would use this blog for that. So far I have made a few new things in the past few weeks so I will start posting those first. These are a few things I have coming for you, so stay tuned!

Pork Banh Mi, Caesar Salad with Crispy Tofu Croutons, Slow cooker Korean Beef Tacos, Mojo Cuban Roast Pork, Chickpea Curry in the slow cooker, Honey Roasted Chickpeas, Baked Wings, Thin Crust Pizza, Grilled Octopus, Mixed seafood Ceviche,pickled onions, mac salad, potato salad, tostones, Rice and beans, Jerk Wings, Stewed Chicken, Oxtail Stew,Tzatziki, Lamb gyro, Grilled Chicken for Gyro, Carrot Cake, Yucca and Garlic, Slow cooked tomato sauce, home made pasta, and Steamed fish.

In the next few weeks I am going to attempt to make homemade pierogies. I just discovered the cookbook aisle at the library and there are so many more types of food to explore. I plan on trying every one of them! I will take pictures and let you know what I really think and what I suggest.

I will let you know that I have found some amazing recipes, I have tweeked some other ones and eventually I plan on creating some of my own!  I can’t wait to share them all with you!

Welcome to my cooking blog!