All posts by sambel203

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About sambel203

I am a Wife, Mother, daughter, Aunt and loyal friend. I have always dreamed of being an Author. I wrote a couple short books. 4 are mine, 1 is a story my daughter made up and another one I am about to publish is a story my son made up and illustrated. I am currently working on my next book. Check them out in the links. I am blogging because I love writing and it helps keep me sane. I have challenged myself to write one blog every day I have to work for a year. If you follow my blog, I will follow yours! Thank you for taking the time to check out my stuff. Feel free to send me an email if there is something you would like me to write about. J.acosta08@yahoo.com

My Weird Dreams- Godparents

 

I think this happened because I was going to a wedding for an old friend and there were going to be a lot of people there that I grew up with but who I haven’t seen in a long time.
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In my dream we were at a party for a friend and it was in a hotel with a room on the second floor that overlooked this field and all the kids were down stairs in the field playing. We were in the room and people were arriving and I was drinking a glass of wine and my friend, who I still talk to who is also named Jess, came to sit next to me and this girl Sarah walked in and she goes “Oh, look it’s Jess C and ugly Jess, how are you guys?”
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And I was like wait, what? Cause my friend Jess is Jess C so that must make me ugly Jess.
So I said, “Wait, what?” and Sarah was like “Oh, sorry, that’s just what we used to call you.”
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I was like “who? “And standing next to Sarah was this guy Jason we used to hang out with a lot and Sarah said, “Jason, Right? You used to call her ugly Jess too.” And Jason was like “You are the one that made it up.”
And they started bickering but my friend Jess C was like come on let’s go see what the kids and husbands are doing. And I was like “gladly.”
So I grabbed my wine glass and a sunflower to bring down to the table downstairs and Jess said that she was going to grab us another glass of wine.
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I went out in the hallway to wait. A couple other people came out of the room and I walked and talked with them to the elevator but told them I would see them downstairs because I was waiting for Jess C. And they said okay, and got in the elevator.
I was standing there waiting and I was talking to myself Like “I’m not ugly, she’s ugly. I’m pretty. No, I am beautiful.”
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And right at that moment some man who came out of the elevator was like ” You are beautiful, like that flower, like the sun… ” And he kept going on about my beauty and then he dipped me while I was holding my wine and flowers and kissed me and I was like Wait, what the fuck is happening?
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Just then  Danny DeVito and his partner Rhea Perlman came out of the elevator and I gave them hugs and they asked what was going on and so I started telling them what just happen and this guy was behind me kissing my neck while I was trying to talk and finally I was like “Okay man, that’s enough. Thank you but no thank you. I’m done. Goodbye” and Danny came and stood in between us and the guy was like “But one more kiss, please?” So Danny kissed him and said “Goodbye” and if I wasn’t horrified about this guy, I would have laughed because thank you Danny DeVito. Then Danny, Rhea and a couple other people formed like a human chain and bulldozed this guy down the hallway and then I woke up.
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I kind of know what this dream means because insecurities from long ago and whatever but can I just say that I love Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. They are like my fairy god parents for some reason in my dreams. This isn’t the first time they have showed up and taken me out of a weird situation.
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Do you have any recurring celebrities in your dreams? Who are your godparents?

There was this boy

Once. I knew him. He liked me. It was valentines day and he brought me a chocolate rose. I thought, omg, how sweet. But I hate chocolate. So I took it. People assumed we were possibly dating. We barely talked. I dated some other assholes. I knew they were assholes but they spoke to me.
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There were a couple others. The “losers”. I spoke to them. I was a loser so I felt like we saw each other.
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There was one time, I was working at a radio station and the DJ was named Large. “”.. And I used to go in and talk to him all the time. I was interested in learning radio even though I hate my voice. He taught me about headphones, the good ones. How to program the music and commercials. Theres a play list. You have to play certain songs every hour and you have to play certain commercials. You have to try to space them out so they’re not to repetitive. Image result for radio station studio  headphones free image
We laughed a lot. I would visit him after working the front desk, before I went to my next job. He said he wanted to give me something for my birthday. I was like, cool. But not a big deal.  I thought maybe we would go to the casino. He surprised me with tickets from JFK to LA and a hotel and American music award seats. I was like OMG, that’s not ok. I told him that I wasn’t going to sleep with him. That if I went it would be as friends only. That I didn’t really know what to say. I mean, I never really traveled that far before. I was like what the hell. He said it was cool. He wanted to see the show and he liked hangin out with me.
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American music awards were hosted by the Osborne’s that year, 2003. And Mariah Carey was preforming. Mariah Carey is my idol and part of my childhood. We went. We checked into the hotel and We walked in to a king bed, he said that was all they had. I felt trapped.
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 I didn’t sleep with him. I slept on the floor. I took him to dinner at wolf gang pucks restaurant and paid. I prayed my credit card would cover it. It did. He thought that I would change my mind about him being in a different environment. We’re just two people on vacation. I think that’s the jist of what he said.
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I went and smoked on the patio. Why would that matter? I felt so lied to. It completely overshadowed that experience.  A few years ago he found me on facebook. He would forgive me for ghosting him, he said. Wait. What?
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I’m going to forgive myself for feeling so bad about possibly leading you on when I really told you from the beginning that it was friends only.
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I was dumb. I should have and did know better but I told you how I felt and you assured me I was thinking too much. I’m going to forgive myself. I didn’t owe you anything, ever. I have made a lot of wrong turns in my life and this wasn’t one of them. Image result for forgive yourself free image

November Goals!

October was my best month EVER with Views. That makes me really happy so thank you so much to everyone who stops by to check out my blog. I try to return the favor as much as possible.
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My goals for November are to keep writing blogs, promoting and supporting other bloggers. I also want to figure out some of these plug ins to see what they do. I think I am going to work on pintrest and try to grow that because I seem to be getting more and more hits off that recently. I am also going to keep up with Twitter since that is my other traffic driver.
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I am in the process of writing my 2nd book in my YA fiction series. I would like to get that done in November and then I can send it to my super hot editor, who’s also my husband, and hopefully I can self publish in December.
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My 7 year old daughter just wrote her first book and I have to say it’s super cute. She’s working on her illustrations and then she wants to self publish it because her dream in life is to be an author and then the president, but mostly an author. We’re starting off with the author bit. Hopefully this will happen in November and then we can donate a copy to her school library. How awesome would that be?
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It’s November! I still can’t believe how fast this year is moving. I am hoping that now we are going to have a little more free time on the weekends so we can just hang out. Until the end of November. Then it’s Book club and we are doing a brunch/friends giving and then Thanksgiving we will be hosting at our house. I love hosting Thanksgiving. Just cooking for everyone I love and eating and drinking and catching up. It’s exhausting but worth it.
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What about you? What are your monthly goals?

The Addams Family- A Family review

We decided to go see this on a whim. It’s the Tuesday before Halloween. It seems like something the kids and us might enjoy. Why not?
We went to see this on a Tuesday night because it a discount night. $5.00 large popcorn, $6.00 tickets and I like that it tends to be less crowded if it’s something that has been out for a few weeks.
This review is from my son who’s 10, Daughter who’s 7, my husband and myself (both 38, but I don’t think that matters as much).
The movie is 1 hour and 45 minutes long.
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Here we go!
Son Review: 4 out of 5. I liked it. But the names were confusing to know who’s who. And it was weird and that’s why I liked it but I wanted to get jump scared. One part that made me scared when they had to go over the bottomless pit. With the spiders. It made me paranoid.
Daughter Review: 100 out of 100. It was funny. I liked the part when they had the sword dance. It was a good movie. I would recommend it.
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Husband Review: I was amused. I would give it a 2 or 3 out of 5.  It made me want to watch the live action movies. There were some good jokes. Pop culture references really well done. Morticia and Wednesday were best part of the movie.
My Review: 3 out of 5. It was cute, I liked it. It was entertaining. I was happy to see this with my family. I don’t think it’s movie where you have to go to theaters to see it. I would watch it again on Amazon Prime or Netflix.
On a side note, I love Bette Midler and I will watch anything she’s in.
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There you go!

Nails and Me.

I go in stages. Sometimes I will bite my nails down to nubs and it takes me going to the nail salon every other week for a couple months to get them to grow back. For some reason if I pay for someone to do my nails, I will not bite them for an entire week. And then the week after I slowly chip them off and then I run to the nail salon again so that I can get them done before I start to bite them… Again. I know it’s gross, but I don’t even think about it till my hand is in my mouth already…
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After doing that for a couple months I kind of train myself to stop biting. But if I don’t have money in those couple months and my nails chip and then the corner gets rough, then I’ll start picking and it’s all downhill from there. I have tried to paint my nails at home but I pick it all off in 2 days. I think I have a problem. Haha.
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Anyway, my nails have FINALLY grown out to a nice length and I am determined to keep them for a while! I always get so confused when the nail tech asks me what shape I want. I have always had them squared.
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But I am thinking about maybe trying a new shape. There are so many out there! What shape do you pick? I may just keep it squarish.
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Right now I am Square with round corners… Maybe I’ll go squoval? Or Oval? I don’t know… Maybe I’ll just keep the same shape.  What nail shape do you have/ prefer?

Monday Update

Good Morning Everyone! I hope you all had a really great weekend!
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My weekend was pretty good. Saturday my husband and I scrubbed the house and then ordered Chinese food because I am not cooking on my freshly clean stove for at least for a few hours. Saturday night was book club! It was great. We went to one of the girls houses and sat around the fire pit and ate, drank and talked for 4 hours. It was fun. One of the girls is getting married this Friday! We’ll all be there for that. It’s going to be a really fun party, I can’t wait. I ended up making the pumpkin pie shots, it was pretty creamy and I thought it was good. I made a jar for the bride to be to take home for the week.
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Next book is “Girl, wash your face” By Rachel Hollis. This is a complete change from what we have read in the past. I am excited to read it. I also finished “Beloved” Friday night and I really enjoyed it. I think I might pick up “Jazz” By Toni Morrison next. I started “The Institute” by Stephen King Sunday. It was a super rainy day so I spent a few hours in bed reading and then a few hours trying to figure out my blog.
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Last week I got a notice that my WordPress site was about to charge for another year. I decided to look into the business plan to see if I can start adding plug ins to generate more traffic. It would be great to make a little side money off this hobby. I put the business plan in my cart and tried to look for a promo code but I hit a wrong button and my payment was processed… Whoops. I have been trying to figure out if I should upgrade or not for the past few months and since it processed I figured I may as well keep it for a year to see what I can do.
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Sunday I sat down to try to figure out plug ins. I have no idea what I am doing. Honestly, I am not very good at IT stuff. That’s what my super cute husband is good at so I leave all that junk to him. Although I am not completely incompetent, I do get some stuff. So I tried to sit down Sunday and add some plug ins to see what those will do and if they will help. I tried to set up google ad sense and I got an email this morning it didn’t work. I have no idea what I am doing. Anyone use ad sense? What are your thoughts? Are there some plug ins that you love or recommend? I am going to play around and eventually I will write a blog about it.
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Happy Monday! I’m actually feeling good today. I think because there is a lot going on this week! Tomorrow we are going to see the new Addams Family movie, that review will be coming Wednesday. Thursday is Halloween and the kids are counting down. I hope that it’s not rainy. Friday, my friend is getting married! I can’t wait for that! And then it’s the weekend. Sunday is Daylight Savings time and I am looking forward to that extra hour. I am not looking forward to the super short days. I’m going to have to make sure I take my full hour lunch this year and get outside to walk.
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How about you? How’s your week looking?

W to A

Growing up my last name was Wolfert. People made fun of it… Wolfart. Wolfat. Wolfy. I mean, really people?
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Anyway. I grew up and got engaged and then married and people were asking if I was going to hyphenate my last name and I was like why? Are you crazy?? I’m going from W to A. Top of the alphabet. First in, first out. No waiting for speeches.  No need to sit through graduation or search for my mailbox at work. We’re one and done.
Really, I wanted to just be one last name and when or if we had kids, we would all have the same last name.
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I went from a name I don’t think anyone else had to a name that I found out, a lot of other people have! I don’t mind though. It’s kind of funny to me because people now assume I speak Spanish or that I am Spanish. I wish I spoke Spanish. I can understand some of it. In reality, I am a whole bunch of basically eastern and central Europe. My mom’s parents are from Czechoslovaki and Poland. My fathers parents are from Germany, England and Ireland. My husband is Dominican which is a whole bunch of things mixed together too. So our kids are a little of a lot.
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*** Not my children***
I decided to change my last name when we got married. Honestly, I couldn’t wait. I think the week we got back from our honeymoon I was in the social security office with my marriage license and other documents.
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I have never really looked back or thought too much about it until past Wednesday night. At work they had a little thing to congratulate the people who have been with the company for 5,10,15,20, 25 years…I was called up in front of work for 5 years in. Oh god, how I wished I were back to W. I get so nervous being in front of people and I was called up 2nd and we had to stand while they called everyone else… It’s not that big of a deal but it did make me think of graduation before I was married and sitting there just waiting for everyone else to go.
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I mean, it’s a personal reason for everyone but this was honestly my thought when I got married. I was not attached to my previous last name at all. I had a friend who didn’t change her last name because her parents had girls and she wanted to carry on the last name. It’s a personal reason for everyone. It just crossed my mind the other day.
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How about you? Did you change your name? Would you change your name?

Excerpt from “Little Me, Big World”

Chapter 2: my friends on my street

 

I rush home from my first day of school and throw my backpack on the floor. It’s 3:30 and my mom won’t be home from work for another hour and a half. I don’t have to be home till 6:30 so I have 3 hours to check in with all my friends and see what’s going on. My home friends are the other street kids. The ones in my neighborhood who are allowed out after school till dark. We are all different ages, but we play together all summer, school breaks and after school. We’re the street kids.

I head to my neighbor Sarah’s house. She’s in 7th grade now and she isn’t home yet so I run up the street to Kathy’s house. Her and Augie are already in front of the TV with huge bowls of fruity pebbles watching MTV music videos.

“Hey, guys!” I say and I run past them and in to Kathy’s kitchen to help myself to a giant bowl of cereal too. Kathy’s house has the best cereal selection.

“Hey Jess!” they reply.

Kathy lives up the street on the corner. I met her one day when I was playing in the field across from our dead-end street. She taught me how to make flower crowns and then we went to her house to eat cereal and watch Beaches.

Kathy is beautiful. She has straight strawberry blond hair, green eyes and a million freckles. She is one year older than me and she has a way older brother and sister. Her parents are divorced and her father lives with her grandparents (his parents) the next street over. In fact, we have to cut through that backyard to get to the Rock.

The Rock is a place in the woods that overlooks a lake. We go here to swim or hang out when we want to be alone. The Rock is my favorite place in the world.

Augie lives the next street over. He’s Kathy’s age, so they are in the same grade. That’s how I met him. His parents are divorced too. His father works as some sports news something and has Emmy’s in the family room. His mom moved to Milford and owns an ice cream shop that we sometimes go visit. We eat ice cream and play Nintendo in the basement with Augie’s younger brother Ben.

Ben is my sister’s age, 3 years younger, but they aren’t friends really. I usually leave my sister home when I go to Augie’s house but sometimes, she comes to hang out with us. When Augie’s parents divorced, Ben went to live with his mother and Augie stayed with his father. Augie’s father is away a lot on work, so his Grandmother watches him a lot. She lives next door with Augie’s great grandmother. Augie is Italian, brown eyes, brown hair and a little on the chunky side, like me. He’s the funniest person I have ever met and he’s always up for an adventure.

Once we are all sitting down, they tell me about their classes and lockers and how you’re not with the same teacher all day and you have a different teacher for English, Math, Science and Social Studies. You also have Art, Music, Gym and a language class. They got to pick between Spanish or French and they both picked Spanish.

There are two teams in each grade because there are 3 Elementary schools combining into one Middle school and there are all these new kids. Kathy already has a boyfriend who’s in fifth grade at North Mianus Elementary and we are going to walk down there after we finish our cereal and get dressed. Middle school sounds awesome and I am so happy that I am here with them and not home.

Kathy finishes her bowl first and heads to her sister’s room to find something cool to wear when she sees her boyfriend. I will never have a boyfriend, I don’t think. The last kid who liked me was Patrick and when he tried to kiss me, I punched him cause that’s gross, and that was the end of that friendship. Then he moved away. I’m pretty sure that Deacon likes popular Rebecca along with every other boy in our grade.

Kathy puts on a hot pink mini skirt and a neon green tube top with different neon-colored squares all over it. She layers two pairs of scrunchie socks for added color and coolness and then we raid her sister’s makeup bag. Kathy pumps the mascara wand like a pro and applies mascara, lip gloss and blush. Augie and I apply some gloss because it smells and tastes like strawberries.

While she’s getting ready Augie and I try on all her sister’s clothes and laugh at each other. I pick a black tube top with a neon green fluffy skirt and Augie puts on her prom dress and stuffs the chest with tube socks, and we laugh till we cry. When Kathy’s ready, we head out. Augie says he’s going home to drive his dad’s Bronco in his driveway and smoke his grandma’s cigarettes. He invites us but we say maybe next time because Kathy has a date….

KEEP READING!!! FREE on Kindle Unlimited until 11/13/2019.

Just another moody Monday.

It’s Monday.. Again.
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Every weekend I say I am going to sleep and every Monday I am so tired. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep till almost midnight. My husband somehow stole all the pillows except 2 from me and then my daughter came into our bed at some point and proceeded to steal my remaining pillows and punch me in the face a couple times. It was impressive.
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I had my alarm set to work out this morning but I was so tired I got up to turn it off and then went back to bed. I think I managed to doze for another 15 minutes. I am so tired right now though.
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This weekend was nice. We went to a friends house Saturday to hang out and then Yesterday we chilled at home. I watched a bunch of cheesy movies and my husband made me mushroom soup. It was really good. I didn’t do all my laundry though so I’ll have to do some tonight.
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This week there is a work appreciation dinner that I have to go to for working at this place for 5 years. I really don’t want to go but I heard that it’s frowned upon if you don’t show up. I’m not ungrateful but I spend 40 hours a week with these people already. I see them more than I see my own family some days so having to go to a dinner and be away from my family even more does not appeal to me at all. I’m going to go because I feel like I have to. Besides that, I really don’t think I have anything else going on this week.
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What about you? Any plans this week?

Chubby Fingers and me.

I was reading this article the other day that said that “Chubby Fingers” was now a trend on Instagram or twitter, or something like that and I thought really?? This is MY time then! I always thought that I had chubby hands and fingers my entire life. I’m looking at my hands now, and maybe they are pretty. I have always loved my nails.
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** not my hand but I couldn’t upload my picture… This could really be my hand though**
I never wore rings cause I always felt like it just accentuated my fat hands. Seriously, the only rings I have ever worn are my engagement and wedding band. I find myself pulling them off and on once in a while. I think, if it’s easy then I am fine, if I have to tug a little then I think it’s time to go on a diet. It’s crazy how I find things to measure myself.
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I think I always wear pants because I have always thought that I had big legs. But lately I am starting to look at dresses and skirts. I actually bought a dress the other day. I might even wear it outside eventually.
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It has been really nice to see more people like me who are not “perfect” but still pretty. I am currently a size 12 and I always felt like even the models that are a size 12 don’t look like me. It is a little unfortunate to hear advertisers boast about how “inclusive” they are with their new “plus sized” model. In my opinion, size 12/14 is barely plus size, and even if it was, who cares? Why do you have to say the size at all?
I am happy that now it seems I am seeing more real people. There is still a long way to go. The point is, it is nice to see things that actually represent something like me and to hear other people call it beautiful. We really should all celebrate ourselves.
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Happy Friday! This weekend will be low key. Going to a friends house to hang out Saturday and decorating the yard for Halloween on Sunday. Husband will be making mushroom soup Sunday and I can not wait. I love his mushroom soup. The weather is getting colder and I am now looking for new soup and stew recipes. Those will be coming up soon!
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How about you?