All posts by sambel203

About sambel203

I am a Wife, Mother, daughter, Aunt and loyal friend. I have always dreamed of being an Author. I wrote a couple short books. 4 are mine, 1 is a story my daughter made up and another one I am about to publish is a story my son made up and illustrated. I am currently working on my next book. Check them out in the links. I am blogging because I love writing and it helps keep me sane. I have challenged myself to write one blog every day I have to work for a year. If you follow my blog, I will follow yours! Thank you for taking the time to check out my stuff. Feel free to send me an email if there is something you would like me to write about.

Monday Shmonday.

Good Morning Everyone! We got back from Cape Cod yesterday around 6PM. We had a BLAST! I am currently writing my reviews for everything. That blog will probably be ready Wednesday. I think next year we will rent a house instead of the hotel rooms so its easier to hang out.
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My mom left this morning to go home.. She lives in Cooperstown, NY which is 3 1/2 hours away from us.  I miss her already. I love when she’s around and I really wish she would come stay longer. She has cats and a dog and I get that she has to go home to take care of them. I just wish she could stay for longer. Like a couple weeks. She said she will be here for Thanksgiving though as long as the weather is okay for driving.
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I called out sick from work today. I wasn’t feeling great this morning and I have so much to clean, plus the kids are off from school today. I really should have requested this as a vacation day when I booked the trip. I wasn’t really thinking.
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Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! What did you do?

Week Update

Hi Everyone! Last week dragged like crazy and then the weekend FLEW by. We had dinner with friends Friday ( the restaurant gave me free wines for my birthday!).
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Saturday we had book club at one of the girls houses. It was fun. We read “Paradise” By Toni Morrison.
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Some people liked it. Some people didn’t like it so much. Other people didn’t finish it. I did finish it but it took me longer than I thought it would. I got a little confused on some parts but I got most of it. I still have no idea who the white woman was that was the first to die.
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Next book was picked, “Flowers in the Attic” By V.C Andrews. The next date was picked, 10/26, fire pit at Kathy’s house.
Sunday we hung out at the house. My daughter went to the Bronx Zoo all day with a friend and I laid on the couch and watched cheesy rom coms till we went out to dinner, the 4 of us. It was nice.
This week seems to be flying by. That’s totally fine with me because my MOM is coming tomorrow! YAY! We’re going to Cape Cod this weekend and I am super excited.
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My family has been there the past few years but this is the first year we are taking my sister, niece and mom with us. I can not wait to show them how beautiful it is there. I swear to god, when you hit Cape Cod the air smells different. Like sunshine and sunblock.
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It’s just awesome. I think besides walking on the beaches we are going to go to the pirate museum and take a harbor cruise.
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That’s all I have really planned. I like to have an idea of what we are going to do but I don’t go too crazy and make an itinerary. We are going to do other stuff but I want everyone to have a chance to pick what they want to do. We are only going for 2 nights and 3 days. And then that’s it for trips for the year.
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Then I get to start planning next year! I think we are pushing for the move to San Diego. A lot of things have to fall into place before that happens. Like money, jobs, a renter for our house because we aren’t selling here until we are positive we are staying there. That’s for another post though.
What are you up to?

Scavenger Hunt Ideas

I really enjoy a good scavenger hunt with the kids. They get a kick out of it and I love listening to them work together, laugh and run through the house to find the next clue and gift.

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I decided to look up a couple Ideas for scavenger hunts and these ones seemed like fun. I think I am going to try one of these backyard or nature ones on our vacation in Cape cod next weekend.

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These are a couple that I am going to keep to try for the next birthday scavenger hunt and then maybe try a Christmas one too. I hope the kids don’t outgrow this cause I think I enjoy it even more than they do!

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Cigarettes and me

When I was in 7th grade I did a science project. “The effects of smoking cigarettes on your lungs.” We tested filtered vs unfiltered, we attached a cigarette to the top of a plastic soda bottle and breathed through a cotton pad.
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The cotton pad turned brown in both cases and not surprisingly, the unfiltered cigarettes were worse for you. Even more surprising, we conducted this with cigarettes purchased by our parents in the science lab at middle school.
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Even less surprising, I smoked the rest of both packs and continued till I was pregnant with my first baby. From 12-27 years old.
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There was a couple gas stations that would sell to kids and sometimes I would just flat ask my mom to buy cigarettes for my friend and she would. I would of course smoke them myself. It was $2.50 a pack back then. This post is making me feel really old. Haha.
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After I had my son, I picked smoking up again socially (only when I was with a friend who smoked)  till I was pregnant with my second. By then it was becoming too expensive to smoke. But a dirty little secret of mine is.
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I love the smell of smoke. I will sit on you lap and inhale you after you had a cigarette,  if you let me. If you had a cup of coffee prior to that, I will melt in your hand. That is one of my favorite smells in the world. I have no idea why because I know that it’s gross. I also like the smell of a gas station.
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Anyway, now I barely smoke at all. I did vape a couple times but now I am scared to do that with all these people getting really sick, really fast. I do miss smoking though. I miss the feeling of smoke in my lungs. I won’t start smoking again because I am really cheap and I can’t spend $12.00 on one pack of cigarettes. That would make me angry. So I just miss it. Plus, it’s been a decade since I quit.
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There you have it. There is my gross little not so secret, secret.
What about you? Are there any smells that are gross to other people but you love them?

Happy Birthday to Me!

It’s my Birthday week. I’m turning 38 (how?) on Friday.
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I will be celebrating by probably going out to dinner and then cuddling husband on the couch and watching Netflix while enjoying some kind of spiked seltzer.
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Next weekend we are going to Cape Cod with my mom, sister, niece and my family. I am really looking forward to that. I looooove Cape Cod in the fall. I am really excited to show my mom, sister and niece how pretty it is too.
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It’s been quite a year. I wrote a few books, and really wrote and promoted my blog. I met a ton of cool new people on twitter and WordPress and I am really happy with my new hobbies! I have always written but now I am actually putting my stuff out there… Which has always been really hard for me. But it’s been an overall good experience for me.
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Thank you so much for stopping by and supporting me and if you want to be entertained for a couple hours, please consider buying my newest book “Little me Big World”. It’s $2.99 on Amazon and free on kindle unlimited till November.  I am very proud of this book. I am currently working on the next book and hope to publish that in a couple months.
Little Me, Big World by [Acosta, J.]
Happy Birthday to me!
If you want to buy me a present, please consider buying my book! You get a few hours of entertainment and I will feel like the happiest person ever.

Weekend Update

Good Morning Lovely People! I haven’t done a weekend update in a while mostly because there isn’t much going on now that school is back in session. This weekend is pretty much the same. I will be grocery shopping and cooking and Fall cleaning tomorrow.
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I really have to go through everyone’s drawers to donate what doesn’t fit anymore and see what the kids need for the fall/winter. I know that they need new snow gear.
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 I am taking my daughter out for a manicure at some point on Saturday.
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Sunday we are heading to our friends house for some air fryer roast chicken and cheese fries. I am looking forward to that! And then we’re back to work and school. The weekends are short and the weeks a long for little bit, but that’s okay for now.
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What are your plans for the weekend?

Makeup and Me!

I don’t know why but this year I have just stopped wearing makeup on the weekends. I just don’t feel like applying it so I stopped.
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I thought I would be so self conscious about it but I’m actually not.  And my skin just feels better. I’m breaking out far less than before.  I added a vitamin C serum and upped all my vitamins. I got these great new vitamins from Thorne (see my review here: ) . A daily vitamin, Vitamin D and fish oil. I just feel like I glow more without makeup right now.
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I went to a bridal shower a couple weeks ago. It was a Sunday and I was running around all morning. I actually thought about putting some kind of makeup on but before I knew it was time to go and so I didn’t get around to it. Afterwards I heard that the mom of the bride said “Jess is so sweet and pretty but why doesn’t she wear any makeup?” And my friend said “if she’s so pretty why does she need it?” And her mom said “yeah, still?”
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This didn’t really bother me because I know this girls mother since I was 12 and she usually finds something to say about everyone, so I wasn’t really offended but it did get me thinking about why I use to wear makeup. I used it to cover my face, not to highlight it. I started when I was around 13, it was brown lipstick and lip liner. Purple eye shadow and a mess all over. It was the early 90’s, give me a break! I decided that I much preferred my own lip color so I stopped using lipstick all together and opted for lip gloss or chap stick.
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I liked the neural look so I eventually toned it all down to full face of foundation, pink eye shadow and mascara. I never learned how to apply eyeliner.. I try once in a while, but it doesn’t look right to me. I love it on other people, just like lipstick, but I always feel like I don’t look right with it. So put it on and wipe it off. (Wax on, wax off)
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A few years ago I went to a summer party at a friends house and I was talking to a girl I hadn’t seen in a while and we were talking about makeup. She seemed surprised when I told her I wore makeup at all. I said “Yeah, I do but I blend it to look natural. So I use foundation, eye shadow, blush, mascara and sometimes eyeliner..” And as I was telling her how much makeup I use but saying I didn’t really wear much, I was thinking “Wow, I wear this everyday?!” That is a lot.
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I started to notice how makeup looked on other people. How they wore it. I started to adjust how I wore it too. Now to work I wear light foundation only where needed to even everything out with a swipe of eye shadow and one swipe of mascara. On the weekends and vacation I wear nothing. Just moisturizer and sunblock. Honestly, I do get self conscious sometimes. Do I look okay? But I personally feel better and more confident over all not wearing makeup.
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So for now, makeup and me is a pretty minimal thing. I love sephora. I love lotions and masks and serums. But I love natural and feeling natural and I am working on finding the right things that work for my skin to make it glow.
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I know that it’s an ever changing thing with me and I am pretty sure I will change my mind in the future and maybe add some eyeliner or maybe even lipstick, who knows? For now I like myself barefaced the most.
What’s your feeling on makeup? What are your favorite products?

Therapy – My most recent session

I told him I wrote a book. He asked how I was going to promote it. I was like I don’t know. I don’t want to be annoying. I am trying to write my blog and hopefully that will catch people’s interest.  He said I really need to rebuild my confidence. I should promote my book because I worked hard on it.
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He said I should try to create a positive thought when I have a negative thought. Hmmm. Okay. Why does that feel so hard?
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We started talking about how I always second guess myself and I told him how I always think back on what I said or did and wonder if I was wrong or stupid. He asked why or when I started to do this and it occurred to me that it was much more noticeable to me around when I became a mother.
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I never felt like a natural at being a mother. I really thought I would with all my years of babysitting. I always felt like things that people just did, I would have to think about it. I read a lot. One of the first times I ever brought my baby out of the house, my diaper bag was so unprepared for anything. I had like one diaper in there and one extra bottle. Of course I learned after that trip but still, sometimes I feel like I am never going to get it. Haha. I think every mother probably feels like that at some point. Even as the kids get older there are new things that happen every year and I always sit and think  if I made the right decision.
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Then I am always wondering if I am messing up. Or if I am doing it all wrong. I’m not sure but I think that is where some of this stems from. I really started to second guess everything. Everything I did. Every decision I made. I never really did that nearly as much as I seem to now. I think I have been doing it for so long at this point, I don’t even realize how often I do it.
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I apologize for everything. Things that aren’t even my fault. You bump into me and I will say “Sorry.” .  I’m not really sure when it just became something I seem to do all the time now. Without even knowing it. My coworkers say I’m so nice. I’m not nice. I just don’t say what I think.
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I am trying to work on this now. I know that I am a good mother. I will always be there for my kids, I will always listen and have their back and stand up for them when they need me. I also have to lead by example though. I want them to be confident and I would like to demonstrate that for them. I am working on this. I am not sure how but I think I will start with trying to replace negative thoughts with positive.
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What makes you feel most confident?

My Jonas Bro’s Dream.

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It’s weird to me that I would dream about the Jonas Brothers because I usually just see them on the entertainment news and sometimes I read it if I am bored. Anyway. In my dream Ray (my for real husband) and his brother were step brothers with the Jonas people. We were invited to spend a weekend at a lake with them in between their touring dates. So we went.
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We all went hiking during the day and then lay around and watched movies at night. It was really fun. The last night there we had dinner and I started asking about them growing up. Like how close they were? Not very, but they did go away during the summer together. How they were step brothers? No one really answered but I looked at the eyebrows and I was like ohhh, they all have the same eyebrows. I get it. Then Joe or Nick, I’m really not sure who is who, told my husband that they really missed him and they wanted us to come live in their compound ” you and your wife, Alice!” he said and I thought, who the hell is Alice? My name is Jess. But my husband said “No, thank you” before I could even tell them my real name.
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After dinner we all spread out around the house for the last night of staying at the lake. I went to go open the front door to let some of the cool air in. When I opened the door I saw a man parking his old two door beat up jalopy. I watched him reach into his back seat and pull out a machete and a bag of dog poop. I thought, Fuck, one of our dogs must have pooped in his yard and he looks pissed.
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I closed the door and locked it and told everyone to call 911. Joe or Nick or whoever went to see what the man wanted and they started arguing. I ran upstairs and told Ray to call 911 and he ran down the hall and left me. I ran into the closest bedroom and locked the door and called 911. I left the phone off the hook and realized I was in my parents bedroom of the house I grew up in. I heard the arguing get louder and then silence. I was like FUCK! Joe or Nick died! I remembered that there were pull down stairs in the closet to the attic and I could escape through that. I got up to the attic and then….
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I woke up. I actually spent a few minutes wondering what was going to happen next. Would I get help? Would I die? Would everyone die? Why did my husband run the other direction? Who’s dog pooped? I guess I will never know.
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What a weird ass dream… I told my husband about it over coffee and he laughed and said I should blog it… Here it is!
Have you had any weird ass dreams lately?

September Goals!

Happy September! Seriously, how is it September already?
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Goal for my blog this month will be to just keep going. Just to keep writing and keep trying to grow. What about you? What are your goals?
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September… Goodbye summer. I will miss you!
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I am back to work, summer Friday’s are officially over and I am actually feeling sad today. I usually love fall, it’s my favorite season. Besides the crisp weather that’s perfect for jeans, t shirts and a sweatshirt (my favorite outfit of all time), my birthday just happens to be in the beginning of Fall too.  This year I am not loving it.
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Fall means winter is around the corner and I feel like this winter will last FOREVER. Once the clocks change I feel like I will be living in the dark for like 5 months. I wake up, it’s dark. I leave work, and it’s dark. And then it’s cold, who wants to go outside and freeze? Ugh.
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I am just really not looking forward to this winter. I have been feeling so much better physically and mentally and I am honestly scared that I’ll fall back into that dark hole I was in this past January. I am going to try to keep that in mind and I also spoke to my husband. He’ll check me if he sees me slipping. I feel like I have more support this winter, but I also feel like I am just over this weather in general. I don’t want New England winter anymore. I think I need a change.
What’s your favorite weather?