All posts by sambel203

About sambel203

I am a Wife, Mother, daughter, Aunt and loyal friend. I have always dreamed of being an Author. I wrote a couple short books. 3 are mine, 1 is a story my daughter made up and another one I am about to publish is a story my son made up and illustrated. I am currently working on my next book. Check them out in the links. I am blogging because I love writing and it helps keep me sane. I have challenged myself to write one blog every day I have to work for a year. If you follow my blog, I will follow yours! Thank you for taking the time to check out my stuff. Feel free to send me an email if there is something you would like me to write about. Jess@sirjstudio.com

Weekend Plans

Hi Everyone! This week has gone really slow for me. Between work dragging and just feeling so drained and tired, it feels like time slowed down this week. I went to bed Monday and Tuesday by 8:00 pm. Wednesday and Thursday I managed to make it to almost 9:00. Needless to say, I am really happy that it’s Friday. Tonight I do the big grocery shopping after work. I hit Trader Joes, Costco, Shop Rite and then the wine store on the way home.
I am looking forward to this weekend.
Related image
My nieces birthday is Monday so I will be taking her shopping Saturday. She’s going to be 14! Sunday is mothers day and we are going to a friends house for a BBQ. That’s it. I’m not big into celebrating mothers day so we usually don’t do much. We pretty much celebrate the same for Fathers Day too.
Related image
What are you up to this weekend? Anyone have any special plans for Mothers Day?
Advertisements

High School Sweetheart? – Guest Post

Guest Post by:

Instagram: @conqueringall

Twitter: @brezzyisbaeeeee

media0.jpg

High School Sweetheart?

Roses are red violets are blue, I think we were meant to be high school sweethearts but now you’re gone and I miss you.

Dear  Ja’Darius;

It’s been 2years since I’ve learned of your passing and honestly it effects me more today then it did when I first found out and I don’t know why. Maybe because I always thought that even if we lost contact god would bring us back together someday, you know like in those shity romance movies?? I’m so sorry I didn’t come to your funeral I didn’t know, no one had the decency to tell me smh. I found out through a girl we went to school with, she was telling me how a teacher had added her on Facebook, you know the one that literally laughed and sung about everything??….yeah her. Apparently you and her were friends until you passed away. At the time I wasn’t hurt or sad just shocked because yeah the school we attended at the time was combined with a hospital but you nor I were a sick patient we were sent there to recover from surgery and the last time I seen you. You were walking to school looking as healthy as the day you got discharged from the hospital. I have an idea well more like an assumption of what happened to you but refuse to ask what really happened. Some things are better left unknown. Sometimes I get mad at myself for not asking you out or wonder why didn’t you asked me but then other times I’m happy because I know we would’ve been together until your dying days and loosing you would be sooo much harder.

I guess what makes it so hard is not knowing if we were truly meant to be….

High School Sweethearts??

Instagram: @conqueringall

Twitter: @brezzyisbaeeeee

Standing on the edge

That’s what I have been feeling like lately. Like I am teetering on the edge of where I want to be. I am excited and terrified. I want so badly to realize this dream and yet, I am terrified.
Related image
I’m having a hard time at work lately. They gave a promotion to this girl I work with to manager. Which I totally support because she really truly deserves it. My problem is that when I was proving to them that I didn’t need a supervisor and did the work for a year, they said that I couldn’t have a manager or supervisor title if I wasn’t a manager or supervisor of someone. Even though that was what I spent a year proving, that they didn’t need to hire a supervisor for me. So I pointed it out to my boss. I said, “I thought that in order to be a supervisor or manager you had to supervise or manage someone.” And then that fucker turned around and asked HR. HR’s response was my job functions are different than this other girls and I don’t qualify for that title. Then my boss called me into his office to talk about it. I pointed out that everything I did was what the supervisor position that they posted had listed for the job functions. He said that there is no one to supervise so I don’t do everything.
He went on to say that he can give me a manager title but I have to do more work and there is no money attached to it. When I brought up the work that I have been doing that was not listed in my job description, he said “okay, what else can you do?” To me that’s a huge slap in the face. I just feel really unappreciated in my job. But it pays alright and it’s close to the kids and the time off is good. I am just done trying to do anything else. I am  going to do my job and go home and work on my books.
Image result for unappreciated at work free image
I will focus on books and writing and keep pushing though. Life is too short to stop. I have already stopped a few times with this dream and this time feels different.
This week has felt funny too. I mean I usually have so much to say about whatever. If you read my blog, you will see that’s true. This week has felt off. I was honestly considering taking a week off.
Yesterday I posted an excerpt from my book Moving Forward, (which I highly recommend you check out) and someone bought it! I am so happy. Maybe that’s why I am feeling so positive today.
Please consider buying an e book or the paperback. If you get the paperback now before I resize it, you could have a collectors item in your hands, I hope.
Paperback:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1096851474 For $8.99
I promise to stop pushing this book so much. It’s just new and I feel like there are some really great stories in it. It’s worth the purchase and read.
I also signed up for Ko-Fi. https://ko-fi.com/sambel08
If you would like to help support me. I plan on upgrading this site to a business plan and then hopefully monetizing a little more.
I am still working a full time job and I will continue to until I can replace my income on the side. We need at least what I make now. I also have a husband, 2 kids and now 3 dogs. I am trying to just get a good schedule down. I’ll get there.
Image result for dream big free image
But this feeling. Like something great is about to happen. I just feel really hopeful right now. It feels positive and I will keep moving forward.

Excerpt from Moving Forward – Chapter 3 Carmine

Unedited version:
I like to think of myself as totally independent. I have an apartment that I can’t afford, I work 3 jobs and stay up all night partying with my friends.  I take one course at a time at the community college because I have to pay for it out of pocket. My car is almost paid off. You know, I’m starting off.
Today I am going to treat myself to a little window shopping on Greenwich Avenue. It’s my first day off in like 3 months and I really want some new jeans. Plus I am invited to a wedding next month and I have nothing to wear.
Greenwich avenue is kind of crazy. Back in the day when I was young there were stores that I could at least somewhat afford.. Like Woolworth with a photo booth in the back, and a paper store that sold cool pens. We especially liked the fat permanent Sharpies so we could tag up the benches at the park. They also had a Gap and Banana Republic that had some pretty nice things on the sales racks.
That’s where I was heading today. After shopping I decided to swing by the Starbucks for a treat. Iced venti skim latte with caramel drizzle. I place my order and stand by the straws waiting for my drink.
“Jess, is that you?”
I look up and there is Carmine from high school. We were acquaintances. We knew the same people but never really talked much, except if there was no one besides us out at the smoking spot, then we would make small talk. We haven’t seen each other since graduation.
“Hey, Carmine! How are you? How’ve you been?”
“Good, you know, working. I’m about to take a break want to hang at the park for a bit and have a smoke”
“Sure, I’ll meet you over there.”
He hands me my coffee and I leave. for some reason my stomach has a little flutter in it. I head past the post office and the board of ed building and sit on the steps. After about 5 minutes I start to wonder if I walked to far and he won’t find me. Maybe I’m being stupid. Whatever, time to call some people and see what’s up for tonight. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Hey Jess! How’ve you been? what have you been up to?”
“Good, just work, a class or two at NCC and hanging out. I moved up to Norwalk. How about you?”
“Just working and I’m trying to write this book.”
“Really? That’s cool! I’ve been submitting poetry but I have nothing published yet. I’d love to read your book!”
“Sure! I have to get back to work but what’s your number and I’ll give you a call when I get out.”
So we exchange numbers and say the good byes, nice to see you, talk to you later.
Later that night I am hanging out with my friends and my phone rings. It’s Carmine and he wants to meet up. I tell him what parking lot we are currently hanging out at and he says he’s on his way.
We spoke for the whole night and somehow he ends up back at my place where I have decided that I am not going to smoke anywhere else but the bathroom even though I have no furniture. So we sit in the bathroom for hours laughing at each other and chain smoking. We are the perfect amount of mean to each other. Mean and flirty. He leaves at 4AM which gives me about 3 hours of sleep before my double the next day.
I wake up exhausted but happy and I wonder if I will hear from Carmine later. My day is long and exhausting. A double shift  at pizza hut. Half waiting and half shift managing but on my feet the entire day. Just about close time Carmine shows up. So I close the restaurant and we help our selves to a couple beers and make some pizza. We sit and talk and decide to head back to my place. This time he sleeps over, we end up making out till early and I finally pass out from sheer exhaustion.
I wake up to Carmine getting his things together and leaving for work. Then I roll over and tell him to lock the bottom lock on the way out and go back to sleep for a few more hours till my shift at the radio station.
A couple weeks go by and Carmine and I start spending a lot of time together. Someone asks if we are boyfriend and girlfriend and I say no and he says yes.
 He brings me his manuscript and I read it. I am impressed. He has an entire book written. He’s just in the process of sending it out. One night our making out turns into something else. We start to get into it but something is wrong. Like we can’t feel each other. It’s just off. the next morning he gets his things but something has changed for both of us.
He meets me at Pizza hut later that night and I take a break to go smoke with him. He says “Why are you so loose?” I am honestly so offended I tell him to Fuck off and goodbye.. So he leaves.
A week passes and he comes back and asks me if I am still mad at him. I say, yeah! that was really rude. He says ok, I’ll be back next week.
Two days later on the front page of the newspaper there is a picture of Carmine. Apparently he mixed some medication and his mother found him dead in his bed. They explain it as a reaction between medications.
I don’t go to his funeral. I mean we really only hung out for about a month, I never met any of his family, we didn’t share any mutual friends.  And I was still so offended by his comment.  It really made me feel awful about myself and I just still wasn’t over it. A couple months pass and I have a dream that he is in a cemetery in the Bronx. I feel like I should go say I am sorry for not going to the funeral. I have no idea where he is buried, or if he was even buried but I go to the cemetery in the Bronx from my dream and walk around for a few hours. Of course I don’t find him. I end up driving home and talking to him to try to make some kind of peace. I’m sorry you were such and asshole I say. And then we laugh in my mind and forgive each other.
A few Years later I bump into his twin brother Joe at NCC and I just walk faster. Years go by after that and I hear that Joe has killed himself. He did leave a self published book behind. I buy it and gobble up the contents hoping to learn something. The only thing I learn is that they couldn’t stand each other and that Carmine had in fact killed himself and they both had tried before. They both had been depressed for as long as Joe could remember.
There is no closure to this story really.
Please buy my book Moving Forward for more stories:
Moving Forward by [Acosta, J.]
The paperback is huge. I will have to reformat it to make it smaller.

The Boogie Man

The other night I was sitting with my 7 year old daughter making friendship bracelets.Related image
My daughter was telling me at school how they tell each other scary stories and she said “Mama, what’s the boogie man?
And I said “Oh, baby… The boogie man isn’t a real thing.”
She said “I know but like what is he?”
And I said “okay, so picture the thing you’re most scared of, and then it’s in your closet or under you bed.  That’s the boogie man. Your biggest fear pretty much. Or that’s what I imagined it was when I was growing up”
Image result for boogie man under bed free image cartoon
Then she got a little quiet. And I thought. Wow, I just parent failed so hard. How do I fix this? So I tried to back track.  I tried to get her to talk about what she was thinking about and she just said “can I sleep with you tonight?”
And I was like I’m mother fucking mom of the year for this one. Total failure. And I should have seen this a mile away.
Today I found out she pictured momo. Or whatever that creepy thing that’s been going around the internet and I understood why she got quiet and scared… I talked to her more about it and she understands that the Boogie man is not a real thing. What would your answer be to a 7 year old?
Image result for happy friday free image
Happy Friday! I love me some Friday’s. And I love weekends that are unplanned and that is exactly what I have coming up this weekend. There is some house cleaning and some yard clean up, as long as it’s nice out. Besides that, nothing.
I love when we get these rare, completely unscheduled, at home weekends. We haven’t visited my In Laws in a while. Maybe we will take a trip down to see them if we want to get out of the house.
What are you all up to this weekend?

The Avengers Family Movie Review – With one hundred million spoilers.

Do Not Read this if you don’t want to know what goes on in the Avengers movie!!!
This a family review and spoilers are part of the reviews.
Come back after you have seen it and let me know what you think!
Image result for free avengers endgame image
Usually we go to the movies on a Tuesday night but this movie was already sold out when we tired to buy tickets last week. We got our tickets for Wednesday night and tried not to read any spoilers before going to see it. I totally read a few spoilers. I mean between this movie and Game of Thrones, which I have never watched, I would have to keep my head under a rock not to read or see anything. The kids had also heard a few things from friends at school. So we knew a few things going in. I also know a lot about Game of Thrones now too.
Image result for free avengers endgame image
Here we go:
My Review: I liked it. I thought it was well executed. I thought it took a little long to get them all back together. But I understand why cause they had to explain stuff. Some parts I didn’t get, but I liked the way it worked together. It made me think about the past movies and what I missed. But how did Captain Marvel know to find Iron Man in space? Like she didn’t know that fury was dead till she got back to earth so what did the page do?
Image result for free avengers endgame image
Husband Review: It was okay. It was really long. I loved that they started with Hawk eye. I love that the marvel started with Iron man and it ended with Iron man. For being 3 hours it didn’t feel like it dragged on but there were a lot of pieces to that movie and they had to fit a lot of stuff in. So for a while they forgot about Captain Marvel. But they did a really good job tying it up and bringing Thanos back into the conflict. I wanted to see more Hawk eye. Tony was excellent in the movie. A lot of people got closure. He got to meet his dad. I like that they were like fuck it, you have to deal with it.  It’s 5 years forward, you have to deal with Trauma of loss and they brought people back after the fact and they didn’t reset like back to the way it was before.
Image result for free avengers endgame image
Son Review: it was really good movie and I liked when 50% of the population came back.
Daughter Review: Isabel feel asleep half way through.
Niece Review: it was good. I would watch it again.
Sister Review: I liked that black panther came back and then everyone else did. I didn’t think they would come back. I hated that iron man died. I knew he was going to because that’s what Dr strange was talking about. But to see it was something. I didn’t know about Hawk Eye to much. I didn’t get that story. I like how they flashed backed and tied it to the movie. I recalled stuff and it showed a different version of the  story then what we saw the first time. I would watch it again.
Image result for free avengers endgame image
Overall, everyone would recommend seeing this movie. We don’t know if you absolutely have to watch this in theaters. I do think it’s a good movie and would recommend it. I think it stands by itself, I don’t think you need to have seen the other movies in order to see this.
Did you see it already? What did you think?

May Goals!

Good Morning Everyone! I am so happy with April. I hit my little goals and did even better than I expected. I still have not made any money ($1.00 in Ads over 3 months…) but I did get my first sample that I am currently trying and I will post a blog about in a week or so. That was exciting.
Related image
I had my first Guest blogger! That was pretty cool. It made me happy. If you would like to guest blog, please click on the work with me tab above! And if you would like to check out his post, it’s called “Accepting Life As Is”. Check it out!
Related image
My May goals will just to be to keep everything consistent. I would like to hit the same growth numbers as last month and I would like to continue to support my fellow bloggers and meet new ones. I try to set aside time at night (after I feed everyone) to sit down and read and like and comment back. My goal is to do this at least a few times a week. Some nights are easier than others.
Image result for blogger support free image cartoon
That’s really it. What are your goals for May?? How was your April?

Public schools

I was at work last week and I over heard someone saying how “Norwalk public school systems are terrible! The only good schools in Norwalk are the Catholic private schools and those cost a lot of money. Stamford public school is so much better. ” I really wanted to come around the corner and butt in. I have 2 children currently enrolled in the Norwalk Public school system. I didn’t butt in, I stayed out of it. But it really got me thinking. Related image
It’s funny. This whole public school system debate between the communities. I grew up in Greenwich, CT. Which is supposed to have a great school system. I thought it was alright. I did not learn phonics though and it shows sometimes when I am trying to spell.  In my experience, they let the kids who wanted to skate through (i.e me), skate on by as long as I did the bare minimum. Which I guess is how it is everywhere. Image result for public school ranking free image
I have some friends who have their kids in Greenwich now, and I hear things that aren’t the greatest. I know a teacher in Darien, which is supposed to have a great school system. I hear the same things. There are plenty of issues within their schools as well.
I lived in Stamford for 5 years and I heard some horror stories about the schools there too. I have some friends who have kids currently enrolled in Stamford now, and I hear some things that are super frustrating going on with their children.
And yes, I have also heard some terrible things about Norwalk, Bridgeport, Danbury, Wilton, Trumbull and I am sure the list could keep going on and on and cover pretty much every school district in the country. Depending who you talk to, and what you are talking about. Image result for public school ranking free image
That’s my main point. I don’t think it’s right to make such a generalized comment on an entire school district based on what? Give me some specifics if you are going to make that assumption. Back up your claims. In my opinion, this person speaking only heard a few things from a few people and went with it. Which is what I have done before too.
Now, I am not saying that Norwalk Public school system is great at all. I mean we have had our fair share of issues with bullying, some teacher problems and sometimes it is super frustrating. But guess what? So is having a child.
I think what it really boils down to is the parents. It’s the parents taking the time to talk to their kids and getting them the help they need when they are struggling. You have to be involved. I don’t like calling meetings with the principal. I hate all confrontation. But guess what? I am the one who is responsible to make sure that my children are getting what they need.
Image result for parents at school free image
From what I have witnessed, it doesn’t matter what school system you are in (although some might make it a little easier when you are asking for help), what matters is that you are involved, listening and making sure your child is getting what they need.
The frustrating part, in my opinion, is that parents don’t get a course on what you should expect from a school.  What is acceptable and what steps you need to take to make a complaint and making sure you keep all your documentation of what is going on. Cause guess what? The schools do. In fact, they have protocols to follow and steps that they have to take and documentation that they keep. But what would a new parent know about any of that? I mean, I didn’t know anything about it. Related image
There should really be parent training classes on how to navigate any public school system. Like, what would happen if instead of talking trash about the next town overs school system, what if we all got together and compared notes and gave advice about what actions we should take?
Also, we should be talking to our kids everyday. See what’s going on. Make sure that we are supporting them. In my experience so far, the school system will not go above and beyond unless you are questioning them. In order to question them you need to understand what you could and should be asking for. I think there should be classes just like when you have a baby and you take a labor and delivery class so you know what to  expect. Maybe there should be a beginning public school class.

Accepting Life As Is

Guest Blog from Twitter: @dvsconcept1986

 

Going through this thing that we call life is stressful as fuck. There are so many variables that you have to take into account. I say variables because at any given time you can enter any situation and it will fit in seamlessly. The real mystery is how to get over/through the situation in such a manner that you learn from it and are in a positive state of mind.

 

I am 33 years old. Some may say that I am 33 years young. I am the youngest person in my office. But I am amongst the oldest of my friends. Total mind fuck. In some instances, I should have a ton of energy but in most, I am tired all of the time. LOL! The only thing I can do is laugh and keep moving forward.

 

I live with my girlfriend and her 2 children. Then on alternating weekends I get to see my daughter for a day and a half. Having a blended family is tough. Do I stick to my roots and become this disciplinarian that I know that I am? Or do I conform to the rules that were set before I was in the picture? Some may say compromise, but that in itself is extremely tough. Getting someone else to understand your viewpoint is easy. Getting someone to understand your viewpoint and accept and adapt is tough. And that cuts both ways, because I’m sure my partner feels the same. We moved in to an apartment after being together for a little more than a year together. Should we have waited? Was this the right thing to do?

 

I am also a full-time college student, studying Computer Science (No I will not take the virus’ out of your computer). I changed my major to that from Cybersecurity. I like Cybersecurity but I like to code more. This major is more code intensive and is a good foundation for where I would like to take my career. The long layoff that I have had between my time in school, (about 12 years) didn’t help me. I failed 2 courses and was really close to getting an automatic withdrawal. Things have since steadied and I am well ahead of the pace to finish my courses this semester. Can I reach my goals? Can I pass the 2 courses that I previously failed?

 

Everyone knows the saying, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. What happens when life hands you onions? Or better yet, what happens when life hands you shit? These the types of data that your life’s variables are going to be filled with. We are programed to accept any type of data into these variables. We cannot say “No thanks I don’t want to get this traffic ticket today” or “Please throw a baseball at my head”. I think if we had a choice the world would be more fucked up than it is now. So, the best thing is for you to do is say “Ok this happened, now what’s the best way to get through this for my family and I?” There will be times where life will be so overwhelming that you need to lash out emotionally. THAT’S OK!!! Just remember that when you’re done, it already happened. You cannot press rewind and do it again. Learn from it. Live with it. Accept life as it is. I know I have and it has made my relationship better. It has made my time management for school a lot better. I feel better a lot more than usual and I think that’s all that matters.

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

Twitter: @dvsconcept1986

Pizza hut, what the employees eat.

I loooved working in a restaurant. I really did. When you work in a restaurant eventually you get sick of the food and after a while you start to create your own things. I worked at Pizza Hut for 10 years of my life. Through high school and college. If our location never closed, I would probably still be working there. I still have dreams that I am working there and I wake up like where are all my checks?
I worked there right up until it closed and I found out I was pregnant with my son, about 11 years ago.
My husband and I  met while working there. It’s not as cute as it sounds, we hated each other. I was still there when he came home from the Marines and now cue the cuteness.
Anyway, we used to create some pretty interesting things when we were there. These are some of my favorites.  Related image
Wings with French dressing, well done.
Wings have to be cooked once through the oven. Then drenched in French dressing and put back half way to be cooked again. Image result for Pizza Hut Wings free image
I also loved their regular hot wings with blue cheese but the regular wings needed to be well done. At least 1 and a half times through the oven.
These wings below are not well done. Related image
Bread sticks dipped in Ranch Dressing. There is nothing more to this. Pizza Huts Ranch dressing is the only Ranch dressing I really love. Seriously, you can put that shit on anything.
Image result for Pizza Hut breadsticks free image well done
Fun Fact, I once gave a good friend a gallon of Ranch dressing for his birthday, we still talk about it.
Image result for Pizza Hut ranch dressing gallon free image well done
Cheese pizza dipped in Ranch dressing. Same as above. Ranch dressing, Yum. Image result for Pizza Hut personal pan cheese free image well done
Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken and bacon topping.
The grilled chicken and bacon topping cooked 3/4th way through the oven and then mixed with the Caesar salad from the salad bar. People loved the Caesar salad from here. On a lunch buffet or Friday night we would go through bowls and bowls of it. When you mixed in cooked toppings, amazing. I liked to throw some red onion on mine too.
Image result for Pizza Hut personal caesar salad free image well done
This pizza has no pictures because no one knows it ever existed.
Personal Pan dough thin crust pizza.
Take a personal pan pizza, pull it out of its pan and stretch the proofed dough as thin as possible without making holes. Then top with whatever you want. I used to just make it with Cheese. It was like a light, fluffy, amazing personal thin crust pizza. I have never been able to find something like this again.
Buffalo Chicken pizza. We used the buffalo dipping sauce, spread it out on a pizza crust and added chicken and whatever other toppings. I am not sure if they still have a buffalo chicken pizza now, but we used to make our own before they created one for the menu.
Image result for Pizza Hut buffalo chicken pizza free image well done
And honestly, the Supreme or Super Supreme pan pizza has to be one of my all time favorite pizza hut pizzas. My husband loved the P Zone made with all the super supreme toppings. Pepperoni, Beef, Pork, Sausage, Green Peppers, onion, mushroom and olives… I still know it.Image result for Pizza Hut supreme pan pizza free image well done
I love all kinds of pizza and I have had great pizza at a million other places, but this is strictly a pizza hut off menu post. Now I am hungry and since there are like zero pizza huts in Connecticut, I have to track a dine in location down.
Image result for Pizza Hut breadsticks free image well done
Anyone else work in fast food and make your own off menu things? What are your favorites?