Since starting this blog one of the things I’ve been learning is vulnerability and the power that lies within doing so. It’s weird but freeing at the same time. Those of you who have been following me these past 5 months know that I was born with a disability, because of this disability I was always teased both for how I sounded when I spoke and because I’m unable to walk (YET) I’ve shared that because of it I became numb to emotions as a coping mechanism. The only one I’ve stayed connected with is anger. Anger literally became my best friend. It came everywhere I went even places where it wasn’t invited. It even spoke for me in the majority of situations. Simply meaning that if someone said or did anything I didn’t agree with instead of processing what happened I would instantly become angry and lose my temper. What I haven’t shared is that for the first 8 years of my life my mom was the only one that could understand me when I spoke. That’s until I laid my eyes on one of my favorite celebrities to this day at the age of 5. Even though I seen him for the first time at 5 I didn’t start becoming fully verbal until 8. The full story will be in my book. But I’ve decided to write him a letter. Who knows maybe he’ll actually read it one day. Anything is possible with God right??
I know you may never read this but anything is possible with god, so I’m writing this letter to thank you. Thank you for helping me laugh on my hardest days as a child, seriously I would come home crying from being teased for what felt like all day, catch the rerun of The Romeo Show and laugh instantly. Thank you for technically being my first word, literally other than my mother no one ever understood anything I said until I said your name. Thank you for sharing some of your life struggles in your music. Our struggles might not be the same but by you sharing I’ve realized that storms don’t last forever. Thanks for having issues with Bow Wow instead of Chris Brown because then I’d be caught in the middle and…whew chile I’m getting stressed just thinking about it lol I loveeee y’all both sooo much but let me get back on topic before I get distracted. Thank you for being such a man of god!! Back in 2016 when i was still struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts you began to post your bible study notes on Twitter which made me want to start building my own relationship with him not just believe in him, A year later in 2017 I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and in 2019 I brought my own bible. Thank you for constantly reminding me that God still loves me regardless of my past. Thank you for letting him use you.
Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!! God can and will use people from all walks of life to help each other🤝
If my post help you in any way feel free to dm me and share https://www.instagram.com/justask_kiki/ and remember god loves us so much that he sacrificed his only son ✝️