Therapy – My most recent session

I told him I wrote a book. He asked how I was going to promote it. I was like I don’t know. I don’t want to be annoying. I am trying to write my blog and hopefully that will catch people’s interest.  He said I really need to rebuild my confidence. I should promote my book because I worked hard on it.
Image result for how to promote yourself image
He said I should try to create a positive thought when I have a negative thought. Hmmm. Okay. Why does that feel so hard?
Related image
We started talking about how I always second guess myself and I told him how I always think back on what I said or did and wonder if I was wrong or stupid. He asked why or when I started to do this and it occurred to me that it was much more noticeable to me around when I became a mother.
Image result for second guessing yourself as a mother image
I never felt like a natural at being a mother. I really thought I would with all my years of babysitting. I always felt like things that people just did, I would have to think about it. I read a lot. One of the first times I ever brought my baby out of the house, my diaper bag was so unprepared for anything. I had like one diaper in there and one extra bottle. Of course I learned after that trip but still, sometimes I feel like I am never going to get it. Haha. I think every mother probably feels like that at some point. Even as the kids get older there are new things that happen every year and I always sit and think  if I made the right decision.
Related image
Then I am always wondering if I am messing up. Or if I am doing it all wrong. I’m not sure but I think that is where some of this stems from. I really started to second guess everything. Everything I did. Every decision I made. I never really did that nearly as much as I seem to now. I think I have been doing it for so long at this point, I don’t even realize how often I do it.
Image result for how to stop second guessing yourself image
I apologize for everything. Things that aren’t even my fault. You bump into me and I will say “Sorry.” .  I’m not really sure when it just became something I seem to do all the time now. Without even knowing it. My coworkers say I’m so nice. I’m not nice. I just don’t say what I think.
Image result for how to speak your mind image
I am trying to work on this now. I know that I am a good mother. I will always be there for my kids, I will always listen and have their back and stand up for them when they need me. I also have to lead by example though. I want them to be confident and I would like to demonstrate that for them. I am working on this. I am not sure how but I think I will start with trying to replace negative thoughts with positive.
Image result for how to be confident image
What makes you feel most confident?

15 thoughts on “Therapy – My most recent session

  1. This post really resonated with me – and if I can feel this way without the responsibility and stress of being a mother, then I can only imagine how intense it is for you. I am also a chronic apologiser, and one line – ‘I’m not nice. I just don’t say what I think’ – that’s me too! But I think you (and I) should be less hard on ourselves about this – not saying mean things IS nice, even if you still think them. It’s a choice, and you chose not to hurt someone.

    I hope you find your confidence – go promote that book!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I related to this a LOT. I don’t say what I feel, everyone thinks I’m so nice (when I’m really not on the inside. I mean, I am nice but I’m super sarcastic on the inside), and I am not confident in myself. At all. It’s something I’m working on. It’s so much easier to boost someone else’s confidence than your own. But you should be proud! You wrote a freaking book! That is a great accomplishment and something you should promote the heck out of! Seriously! You wrote and then finished writing a book- if that’s not confidence, than I don’t know what else is 🙂

    Emily |

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a great post! Its also brave to not only go to therapy but also get on here and talk about it. I related to this a lot too. Im always saying sorry for things that aren’t my fault or people think I’m super nice when in reality I’m very bitter Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love your honesty hun x
    I have been the lack of confidence and trying to regain that its hard but slow steps i would say helped me a lot. i’m still trying but thats all you can do really.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Good luck x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.