I really love this “Woman of significance ( Knowing your identity in God).”devotional. It has truly been an eye opener. It has answered questions I’ve always asked myself like why is anger such a struggle for me? I knew part of the reason is because it is a generational curse passed down by my father. This is why the Bible warns us not to have sex out of marriage. Soul ties are real!! And the person or people you choose to sleep with can really affect your life in ways you’ve never imagined. You can be the happiest person, never had an angry bone in your body, sleep with somebody who struggles with anger then boom! You now find yourself getting angry a lot. Sometimes it may not pass directly to you but if you have a child or children the chances of them having an issue with anger are high. How do I know? I myself am a product of this and I can tell you first hand this shit ain’t fun or funny. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be 100% anger free but at least I’m learning how to control it. What I didn’t know was that it can sometimes be caused by the way you view yourself.
If your assessment of yourself is in constant conflict with God’s opinion of who you are, you will be confronted by perpetual shame. When you refuse to see yourself the way that God sees you, you will go through life looking at yourself through the distorted lens of either pride or humiliation. You will often be ashamed of who you have become because you never really knew who you were created to be in the first place.The enemy of your soul, Satan, doesn’t want you to tap into the richness of who you were created to be, and so he endeavors to distract you with distorted thinking, a misguided mind-set, and an illegitimate self-image. Satan tries to abort your identity by convincing you that you are not enough and that you will never be enough—and absolutely nothing could be further from God’s eternal and exciting truth!Scripture identifies him as “the father of lies” (John 8:44 Satan is infamous for his lies and knows of no other way to communicate. If you are not absolutely certain of how the Father sees you, you will create the volatile risk of believing the lies of the enemy. The only way you can be assured of God’s confidence in you is by eating from the Tree of Life and staying in intimate communion with Him.- Carol McLeod
As I mentioned before, growing up I knew about God but didn’t have a relationship with him because of this I struggled with confidence in every way imaginable. From the way I sounded when I spoke to the color of my skin being to dark. I hated everything about myself except my hair. I’d always ask someone how I looked to know if I had something on my face rather then check myself because I refused to look in a mirror. I didn’t start looking in the mirror until 19, I didn’t start believing I was pretty until 22. I didn’t start knowing I was beautiful until 25 when I started reading the Bible only 4/5 months ago. My walk with Christ has been a roller coaster since the very beginning and far from easy. I’d be lying if I said in my 3years of following Christ I never questioned is this even worth it? I’ve asked myself this question plenty of times but I’ve learned from personal experience that if you just stay the course Jesus himself will see you through!! Reading the Bible is so important for our relationship with Christ to be strengthened. I only started reading it constantly 1month ago and just abut a week or so a go added daily devotionals. Better late than never right? Remember each of our journeys are different don’t let anyone discourage you on yours!!
Have you ever thought about the things you want to happen in your life by the time you reach a certain age?? I know I have. So much so that I’ve already started working towards them.
1. Have a stronger relationship with God-This is essential!! As you may or may not know I gave my life to Christ 3 years ago and it has been quite the journey if I don’t say so myself. Challenging but by far the best decision I’ve ever made in life. One of these days I’ll share my testimony he’s changed my life completely!! Yet I struggle to put him first🤦🏽♀️
2. Love myself more- This is pretty self-explanatory. Growing up with a disability I was teased a lot because of this I struggle with a shit load of insecurities.
3. Read more- Reading has never been my thing it’s something I’ve struggled with for years because of my disability. By the grace of god I’m happy to say this is no longer a struggle. However I still hate it and prefer her not to pick one up. I want to change this. I want to make reading a habit. I want to start by reading 3 books a year then gradually increase. (Keep me in your prayers )
4. Meet Chris Brown- Anyone that knows me knows I love this man to death! How could you not I mean just look at that smile!!… sorry I had a moment lol. I’ve seen him in concert twice but that’s not good enough I wanna be able to hug him and yes I’m telling you now I. Will. Definitely. Ugly Cry.
5. Have my own House– My mom and I actually brought a 2 family house 4 years ago this year. However by the time I’m 30 I want have my own!! For some reason she wants me living with her forever smh.
6. Travel outside of my city at least– I’ve actually been to North or South Carolina when I was about 9 to visit my Great great grandmother for her birthday. She turned 102 that year I believe. However I’ve always wanted to go to Puerto Rico.
7. Have my own business or businesses- I’m not 100% sure what I want to do because if I’m honest I’d do it all but something along the lines of helping people come to Christ. We’ll see what he has in store for me.
8. Attempt to learn how to speak Spanish fluently- I taught myself Spanish as a little girl by simply watching Spanish networks/listening to music all day. For some reason I stopped I understand a little bit but not as much as I used to and I’ve never felt brave enough to speak it. (If you don’t use it you lose it)
9. Become an author- I’m actually working on this now. My first book that is. Only 9 more chapters to write and it’s done, ready for the world to read!! To say I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m an open book yes but also very private person. Meaning I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me but at the same time I’m very careful with who and what I share if that makes sense?? So just the thought alone of having both people I know and don’t read about my life is A bit nerve-racking. But hey if me telling my story can help lead someone to Christ or just simply let them know they’re not alone it’s worth it right??
10. Learn to play the piano- So after years and years of asking as a child my mom finally decided to get me a keyboard this past Christmas at 25…better late than never right?? Only problem now is it’s not working 🥺 it was working all January/February but when March came all of a sudden it stopped. They sold her a refurbished already broken keyboard and we can’t take it back because this stupid annoying ass coronavirus wants shut the whole entire world down 🤦🏽♀️
11. Meet Roman Reigns– yes I am a 25 year old woman who watches wrestling. Although the wrestlers today are not as entertaining or exciting as the ones when I was growing up were there a still a few that manage to get my adrenaline going like Roman reigns. I don’t know what it is about him but every time he steps in the ring I’m fired up. Yelling, screaming, cursing and even shit talking to his opponent as if he could here me through the screen. ridiculous right? I know don’t judge me I told you I don’t know what it is about him that makes me act such a fool. Also he taught me how to believe in what I pray for. For those of you that don’t know back in October 2018 he announced that he was battling leukemia for the second time. Talk about heartbreak. I cried myself to sleep for days and prayed every day and night. On February 25, 2019 exactly 5 months and two days later he announced that the cancer is in remission!! Y’all can’t tell me Jesus ain’t real or that prayer doesn’t work!!!
I Challenge you to give Jesus and prayer a try for a month, have an open mind and heart and he will gladly reveal himself to you.
12. Eat healthier- By the grace of god I’m extremely healthy, always have been but my eating is poor. I literally hate almost everything that’s supposed to be good for you except bananas, spinach, grapes, broccoli, cantaloupe and I just started eating oranges again this year after years of not eating them because of the smell. Yes I said smell I hate it!!! It doesn’t make me sick or anything I just hate it 😂😂 can you tell how much I HATE the smell of oranges?? Maybe one day I’ll do a rant on why I HATE IT sooo much. Would you guys read??
13. Manage my time effectively- we all have the same 24 hours, it’s what we do with them that makes a difference. I’m currently a huge procrastinator as if time waits for me. Knowing good and well that time waits for no man and tomorrow isn’t promised.
14. Learn To Accept Compliments- This ties into numbers2. As I mentioned earlier growing up with a disability I was teased a lot because of this I struggle with a shit load of insecurities. I’m 25 and getting told I’m pretty/ beautiful from a guy is kind of foreign to me. I know I know it’s sad.
15. Learn how to network
16. Work on my temper
17. Grow my blog- This may sound a little unrealistic I know but by the time I’m in my 30s I want 2,000,000+ followers on here. Anything is possible with God!!
18. Stop being so hard on myself- Not sure if I’m the only person who does this but when I can’t figure something out on my own I tend to be ridiculously hard on myself.
19. Get a degree in something- I wanted to go to culinary school after high school but sadly things didn’t work in my favor. Maybe I’ll try again in the future.
20. Have patients- patients?? What are those?? Just kidding I’m working on them.
21. Step out of my comfort zone
22. Have excellent credit-my biggest fear is being in a lot of credit card debt so while in high school I made The decision to never gets a credit card. Problem is no one ever told me you literally need credit for almost everything you do. I’m doing good so far.
23. Grow my hair long again– yes this was actually my real hair. Please don’t ask what happened I’m not strong enough to talk about lol…seriously it makes me sad.
24. Get in better shape- I wrote a blog about my fitness journey go read and join me if you’d like.
25. Meet the man of my dreams– come on now Jesus I’m ready to settle down!!!
This was supposed to be a 30 by30 bucket list but I couldn’t come of so many
Although I still have a long way to go I’m happy to say that I’m five years away from 30 and about nine of the things on this list are starting to manifest or have already happened! I do understand that I may not accomplish everything by that age but some things are better then nothing at all in my opinion.