Ever have those days where you just didn’t sleep well the night (or week) before and you wake up exhausted? Last week was a tough one for me. I was just feeling really down about a lot of things going on in my life and it felt like everyone I cared about was mad at me, or disappointed, or I was annoyed and I couldn’t communicate what was going on.
Then I got my period for the first time in over 2 months and I was like “Oh, this is why there are a million emotions going on and I don’t seem to understand any of them.” It was an overall bad week. I fought with my mom, my husband, myself. I am still on this damn waiting list to talk to a therapist since January. My son at least gets to see someone this week. I just feel like I am losing my shit and I am trying really hard to hold it altogether right now… I say all this to say, I’m exhausted. My entire soul feels tired right now. I feel like I need to nap for a week just to feel somewhat normal.
I know how this goes though. This is where I start to feel better, I hope. I’m starting to be able to put into words what I am feeling and then I can tell the people I feel those things with what I am thinking. So the healing/digging out can start I guess.
It’s getting nicer out. I am going to try to get outside more, get some sun and focus more on the positive things coming up. I am trying to get my first Young adult book completed so I can self publish in a couple weeks. Then I can focus on promotion. I am just waiting for my readers and the editor to get back to me.
We have summer coming and vacations. My blog is doing well. I am thinking about paying for the upgrade to business in a couple months if the numbers keep up.
I am going to get through this. But first I need to go home and sleep till tomorrow.
Writing wise, I’ve had 4 rejections for some online magazine articles. 1 guest blog that I sent and was never published. I have no idea why. I didn’t ask. Not one person has bought any of my other published books. I’m like losing steam. I know I’ll be fine. I know it takes time.
I’m just feeling extra shitty lately and I really want to just scream and cry and not have to leave my house at all but there are kids and things that need to be done and work that needs to be finished by deadline. So I will drag myself through it all till I finally start to feel better. I hope this passes soon. I promise to be back tomorrow happier.